Its His Own Fault

If the boy smells of poo and wee its his fault – and a little bit mine. You see, everyday after the afternoon nap I feel I should do my duty and change his nappy. Everyday without fail I see a little smile and I think, ahhh he loves his mummy and then I realise no, its just the relief of the enormous wee that hes doing. Showering himself from head to foot. Thus begins the afternoon clothes change/ wrestle and the official start of the countdown to daddy’s homecoming.
However, its not always as sedate as this, sometimes things are a bit worse. POO, this can occur at any moment. For some reason I always thought that pooing occurred whilst sitting still. Oh, how wrong you can be, now if a poo occurs whilst the nappy is off and baby has crawled away, only disaster of epic proportions is inevitable.
Still, i’ve decided that if his room smells of s**** when hes a teenager I know where it probably began. I feel the need to invent a special nappy change restraining harness to go with my line of inventions that started with the bollocktron 3000 (TM) and has recently lead me to Cot Bumpers But Not (TM), now where’s my patent application…

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