FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT A PHD

Fresh from Post-natal group I sit here, having fed and watered baby into a state of unconscious slumber and how do i feel? FAT and knackered. The Cadbury Flake is going down well, breaking the nearly two week chocolate fast and I’m wondering about starting on the Coca Cola in the fridge. How did it come to this? A hardcore week of crying and playing with the spinning top, its either chocolate or the madhouse.
Anyhow, baby now has a rather nasty bruise on his head, gained at the doctors surgery where he underestimated the hardness of a wooden chair. Obviously taking the opportunity of the few seconds that his mummy wasn’t observing him. I’m presuming that he’s alright, he at least chose to have this accident in the right place, should he have needed emergency medical treatment. Saying that, I probably would have needed an appointment. So it would have had to wait either till tomorrows 8 am scramble or 2 weeks time. My glass is always half empty. Except when its full of Cola or wine, when it is full for at least 1 minute.
I wonder, did this happen to Carol Vorderman before she became thin and a diet guru? Why aren’t all celebrities (Britany aside) stressed into a state of fatness after baby. I realise they have plastic surgery at the time, but 6 months after seems to be when Fatness sets in. I think theres a PHD in this somewhere…

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