Keeping the Species Viable

There is an international conspiracy far bigger than the covering up of alien visitation, the death of Princess Diana and 9/11. Its a conspiracy so deep ingrained within the human psyche that it has been going on for thousands of years. Today, I begin to uncover that conspiracy, and to be on the safe side, I will stay indoors. In case I’m bundled into a car with blackened windows never to blog again…
They are not allowing parents to pass on these vital bits of information to other prospective parents for fear of the species becoming extinct.

  • The horror of episitomy: OK, you know about this before birth, but only when its too late to do anything about it
  • The pain of breastfeeding: You are told its fine, natural and good- well, yes it is, but it REALLY hurts
  • The real meaning of sleep deprivation: its different to going clubbing all night, that’s fun
  • The on-going financial nightmare as clothes don’t fit, toys are boring, food is wasted and so on FOREVER. Its not just a case of buying a nice new pram, some cute baby grows and a cot
  • The nightmare of nappy changes. Just as soon as you are used to dealing with the poo, you have to deal with it whilst on the move.

Feel free to add to these via comments, I could go on and on and on….

On another note, just to update you. I’ve not been contacted by GMTV yet(readers petition them for me) and I’ve not eaten a chocolate bar so far this week!


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