Welcome to the Home of the Television Scrooge

A word for prospective parents: Never run a bath whilst trying to deal with a baby…

Still, not to worry as I have finally managed to get a bath. It was rather full, so I was floating around luxuriously like Cleopatra, except without the milk. My eye happened to glance upon my latest purchase, Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers shampoo. I grabbed this as I assumed it would be herbal and therefore fit in with my new healthy organic ethos and also that the rainforest theme would mean that some money was going to buying a block of rainforest in South America or similar. My purchase, the equivalent of enough to house half an ant or a tiny, tiny rare and tropical flea. How wrong could I be.

That set me thinking about charity and how this Friday nights television was ruined by Children in Need. Now, I can be a bit of a scrooge, but come on. If all the celebrities appealing gave 5 % of their annual income and went without that research trip to India or wherever, surely more money would be raised. It’s a covert way of taxing poor people. Have you ever met a member of the middle classes willing to admit to even watching television? If the government gave that money to the charities they could also do the work without the need to humiliate people on national television. The knock-on effect would be that there would be some decent programming, making my TV licence fee worthwhile.

I have a better idea, I will PAY not to have to endure Telethons, Emmerdale, Sport, Jeremy Kyle and Ant n’ Dec. Having just realised that this would be the equivalent of purchasing SKY, I have to retract and rephrase that statement. I will PAY not to have to endure Telethons, Emmerdale, Sport, Jeremy Kyle and Ant n’ Dec on terrestrial channels.

Last night was seriously lacking on the sleep front.


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