Can someone please come and explain to baby that he cannot live on wild organic non-dyed Scottish salmon, junk food and Christmas pudding alone. I can’t, it doesn’t work anymore, all that happens is he takes it and spits it out again. Specially prepared Annabel Karmel meals seem to be the favourite for practising the spitting technique.
I’m feeling a little traumatised again, I think that is part and parcel of Being a Mummy. When I do manage to snatch a few microseconds of sleep each night ive started waking up thinking the baby is doing something silly. Like for example, falling down the stairs probably a response to him having learnt how to climb them at high speed. The other night I had a dream whereby, he was literally chewing small bits of his board book, part based on reality this nightmare has stuck with me. It makes you wonder what this one means, is it a response to the odd shocking sentence that comes out? “I want that (point)” was a particularly shocking one at our friend’s house the other day. Alternatively I could be living the dream life and actually my reality is really what is occurring. OOOOHHHH, the sleep deprivation has really got to me there.
Bearing all this in mind, but given my failure to blatantly get a free make over on Lorraine Kelly, I thought I’d see if I could get him on Super Nanny. Unfortunately you need 2 or more kids and they need to be a bit older. So here’s the plan, one of you- lends me your children. I’m sure you won’t mind, the break will do you good. I’ll get us on the show, your children will be famous and baby wont know what has hit him!