Surviving Valentines Day

As the formidable Destiny’s Child said a few years ago I’m a survivor, and lets face it you wouldn’t mess with them would you. So I think that it’s about time that I justify this statement as it sums me up perfectly. I must be, I haven’t had more than 4 hours sleep in one stretch for the last nine and a half months and I might be stark raving bonkers, but I’m not hallucinating or anything yet. I’ve not even run away from home!
In fact, i’ve discovered a new cookery skill that I didn’t think I had and i’ve learnt not to be quite so fastidious about the cleanliness of the bathroom, although a grubby dusty loo does make me feel a bit queasy.
With this in mind i’ve decided that today’s post is one to help those married men out there thinking about Valentines Day gifts. Can I stress the word married here, I don’t think any of these suggestions would work for the unmarried. Those uninitiated souls still trying desperately to hold in that large brewing fart (for want of a more tasteful word) and feeling cool about being up at 2 am.
· Forget roses, all that happens is they wilt and end up as a sort of slimy putrid soup which is a nightmare to try to get into the dustbin. Although if you must, make a statement and send them to work, making your wife the envy of her office. Don’t do this if she walks to work though as it’s a bit of a pain dragging 12 roses in a vase of water over a mile home (no offence hubby, I really was grateful).
· Chocolate is not the best gift; it reminds wife of the weight issues she has/n’t.
· Don’t under any circumstance be tempted to purchase red underwear; it has been manufactured to cause an argument leading ultimately to divorce. Followed by the need to date new women and purchase more red underwear. A vicious circle created purely by the evil masterminds of lingerie.
· Home –made romantic gift or card, brilliant. Cost effective, shows that you care. Just don’t chose to make it when she’s about- she would rather see you!
· Dishwasher, this is my personal ultimate Valentines Day gift but may not be everyone’s choice. However, if she doesn’t have one and has a little inner wish for one, then splash out.
· A day/ night out without baby, another sure-fire winner. After a hard day of monotony that is really all anyone could want.
What more can I say, good luck boys, start thinking now and you wont get caught out next Friday. Good luck girls!


1 Response

  1. Suburban Mum 11th February 2008 / 7:35 pm

    Pssssst… it's Thursday!!! 🙂

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