My New Age Mouth

I notice my toothpaste has cooling crystals. WHAT. Does this mean that my teeth are being inadvertently feng shooed (ok, I cant remember how to spell it) by my toothpaste and I’m having some sort of holistic new age mouth cleaning experience. I think baby’s toothpaste, which I can only describe as a sort of bubblegum flavour is much nicer. I think I might steal it. If that is, indeed, possible from your year old baby son.
When he is at home baby boy prefers to view life from the luxury and security of his toy box. What does this mean? Is he in fact worried that we will make off with his toys in a sort of baby toy raid? Its tempting, as the batteries still work in hound of hell despite our best attempts at destruction. This has taught me one thing in life- don’t buy anything from Early Learning Centre it all seems far too indestructible. Future archaeologists will be tormented by this toy as they dig through the layers of silt caused by the catastrophic floods brought on by global warming. Many will succumb to drink in an attempt to stop the damned noise, just as their forebears did.
Today I discovered the delights of a home made cheese and red onion sandwich, not only was it scrumptious, it provided me with special boredom avoidance breath superpowers. Hence the need for the hippy toothpaste…


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