Two (longish) years ago Toddler Boy entered the world. It had been a long and protracted labour, he started coming, then when we got to the hospital and I was 5cm dilated he had a change of heart. I don’t much like hospitals either. After another 5 hour wait, I was given a Syntocinon drip and eventually, 3 days after the waters broke, our boy entered the world. Unfortunately, daddy/ hubby had forgotten to change the music on his MP3 player so it was to Symphony of Destruction by Megadeath. Luckily for daddy, I was completely oblivious to this, as I was focusing on the 4 midwifes and doctor peering at my nether regions and feeling a bit funny because of all the gas and air. In my birth plan I had visualised something calming like Portishead.
For the first 10 months of his life, he had me up at night at least 3 times. He breath held and passed out several times a day, and was rushed to A & E twice because of it. It turned out he had undiagnosed Silent Acid Reflux. He still breath-holds now, but its a behavioural thing and I’m blase about it. I was at my wits end, I really didn’t think that it would be quite so hard to look after a baby. I remember thinking to myself all day long, ‘please god, let him make it to 5 years old’. I have to admit to feeling a bit trapped by it all at times. At other times the whole situation that I found myself in was frankly hilarious and I think some of my blog posts reflect this.
During the following year, I returned to work and realised that I actually missed the little fella, he is funny, charming, sweet and most of all my baby. I spent a lot of this year feeling guilty about not spending as much time as I could with him, but work did provide a bit of an escape from constant television and nose blowing. For both of us. Toddler boy, also developed a special relationship with his grandparents and really feels at home in their company which is brilliant.
Now he is two, I cannot describe the range of emotions that I have reserved especially for him. From utterly besotted to utterly aggravated, from pure happiness to pure sadness at the thought that someday he will be someone else’s boy. I have even taken to enjoying ironing his little t-shirts and trousers!
Two years ago my world changed for the better and I cannot dream of existing without him. Happy Birthday little man xx