He doesn’t love me (as much) anymore

I think that somewhere in amongst the whole pre-school ‘harsh mummy leaving me’ drama a fundamental change in allegiances happened in our household. Gone are the days when both of them want Mummy, now only one does and, as that one is only 4 months old, I think she associates me with food.
Absolutely every request is met with ‘No Dadda‘, the boy even wants to be called ‘Dadda‘. Daddy gets lots of long kisses and cuddles and I get a cursory kiss if I offer a bribe.

‘ Do you love Mummy?’

‘ No, Dadda‘.

Daddy feels a bit smug about this in a sort of obvious secret way, I can tell. At first I did find this a bit upsetting, I know he is only little, but Ive sacrificed my body, mind and career for the boy and it would nice to be a bit appreciated. Its not got to Shirley Valentine stage yet, I haven’t started dreaming of running off to a small Greek island whilst I’m cooking the egg and chips. Actually I lie, I do wonder quite often what our lives would be like without the pair of them. But them I realise that there would be a massive gap.

Its funny, but as a mum you sort of feel a little bit of ownership over your children and you like to think that they worship you the most. I can of course, see where the boy is coming from as I also love Daddy. I think part of it is that I’m with them all day, I do the majority of nappy changes, disciplining and feeding. Whereas Daddy comes home and does all the fun things like football, story-time and general playing. However, I have my revenge, as when the night-time waking occurs the boy doesn’t want me, no, its ‘Dadda‘. He he he.

I wonder if this is how it is going to be; boys together playing football, digging holes, drinking cold drinks, eating crisps and making a mess, whilst me and Fifi have cups of tea and a nice bit of cake whilst discussing our latest purchases and how to make the perfect dress. Its sexist I know, but a small part of me hopes so.

9 Responses

  1. Then There Were Three 17th May 2009 / 11:18 am

    I think the cake, tea and discussing purchases whilst the boys get dirty and play football sounds perfect!<br><br>He loves you, he just knows you&#39;re there whatever … unconditionally, and therefore taking you for granted.<br><br>I suspect it will be the same for me, my man is away a lot, so when he comes home he will be all fun and treats whilst I&#39;m the day to day &#39;nag&#39;. Joys of

  2. Garden Mum 17th May 2009 / 4:17 pm

    Whilst he might be asking for Dadda when you are around it was always mum at playgroup – when he really really needed someone to make him feel better its you he asked for. Even when he is all grown up and living in his own house I bet when he sick or feeling low it will be his mummy he phones to make him feel better.

  3. Metropolitan Mum 17th May 2009 / 6:47 pm

    Guess I shouldn&#39;t admit it in such a public space, but I can relate to the ownership thing. I was looking at L last night, thinking &#39;I made you, every little bit of you. You are me and I am you.&#39; Hope that changes a bit, otherwise I am going to be one of those uber eager super possessive ones…<br>As for your boy: I heard that boys look for someone like their mum to marry in their

  4. Rebel Mother 17th May 2009 / 11:36 pm

    I have 2 boys (22 &amp; 11) and a girl<br>(10). I am very close to my boys -My daughter is all over her father at the moment. I like getting my clothes dirty with the boys and hubby prefers an apron….!<br><br>But it works. And it will sort itself out sooner or later. Mums &amp; their sons though….no bond like it. Smashing!

  5. The Dotterel 18th May 2009 / 9:37 am

    Well, Sally&#39;s a real daddy&#39;s girl and Charlie only ever crys when mummy goes to work. If that&#39;s not sterotypical behaviour, I don&#39;t know what is!

  6. Mel 18th May 2009 / 6:42 pm

    Heather went through a stage of this when Matthew arrived, she would only accept Daddy, Matthew refuses to let Daddy get him a drink or dry him when he gets out of the bath and Lucy seems to prefer me at the moment but does make a beeline for Daddy when he is here.<br>He does love you but because you are there for him he takes you for granted, they do say thank you eventually though.

  7. allgrownup 18th May 2009 / 8:00 pm

    My 18 month old son is the least clingy child IN THE WORLD, and I do sometimes wonder if he&#39;d bother at all if I left and never came back! Today for example, he was the only child out of 10 18m-4yr olds not to cry as mummies left them in the creche to attend a training course. Annoyingly, he is inconsolable (for all of 3 minutes, luckily) when parted from Daddy, Nana, Granddad, and weirdly,

  8. Amy 19th May 2009 / 2:31 pm

    award for you over at mine enjoy! x

  9. Maternal Tales 19th May 2009 / 8:22 pm

    Oh I&#39;m with you on this – Daddy is always away and when he comes home he brings presents and when he&#39;s at home he wants to do all the fun things like take them on bikes and just generally spoil them. I, on the other hand, am always around, never just turn up in a wave of excitement bearing gifts and am always the one having to use discipline. Needless to say, Daddy (or Papa in our house

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