I haven’t blogged much this week as Ive been busy writing threatening letters to Waitrose; ‘I would like to make a complaint about your toddler trolleys. Should they not be removed, at the very least to a location away from the main door, I shall be doing all my shopping at Sainsbury…’ In my mind, I actually wrote ‘I hate your f****ng toddler trolleys, they make my life a misery, if you don’t do something about them I will let my toddler run rampage through your store without me and merely meet him at the exit after he has destroyed all your products, maimed several pensioners and caused himself an injury, for which I shall be contacting Claims Direct about. As I hold you personally responsible.’ I hope they understand what I meant when I phrased it politely.
There are an increasing number of incidents whereby I find myself saying one thing and thinking another. Some examples follow;
- No, its really fine; I feel a little bit distressed about this, but I’m being a martyr
- He has beautiful red hair; not sure the ladies will think this when he is older
- Do you really think; I don’t think
- Thanks, he loves In the Night Garden; That was last years thing, keep up!
- Any book is just fine by me; He already has seventeen copies of this, why don’t you just buy what Ive asked for!
- Ive given up disciplining every little thing, its counter-productive; I cant be bothered
There are of course, many many more, but they involve far too many swear words to write here. Te- he he