I have to say that, I really, really love blogging, it has been a feature of having kids. I've met some brilliant people, Ive got some great stuff to review. However, I do think that recently its become a bit more competitive than it used to be. I can't say that I'm not disappointed for not getting into any of these top lists EVER. The fact is that I am. I get a fair few hits, lots of requests from PR firms. Even the chance to review a few different web-sites sites pre-launch. However, the main-stay of my writing work has always been academic stuff through my job. Magazine articles, dull, dull highly academic articles, a book, exhibition panels and lectures so boring that I often wonder mid-stream if I've already spoken about something. Yes, they do seem to go down well. But I don't want to do them anymore.
I think perhaps, the reason that I'm having these thoughts is that I'm due to have an operation in a few weeks and I'm reassessing parts of my life. I feel the urge to chuck out lots of stuff and I want to create a really good impression of motherhood, in my kids minds. Just in case. I don't want them to remember me sitting at the computer. I want them to remember me playing with them, showing them how to do stuff, do doing domestic things. Its not that I don't do this, its more that I do seem to spend an increasing amount of time at the computer. Have I become addicted to blogging and the Internet? No, but I do enjoy the camaraderie of talking to other adults during the sometimes painfully long days with a toddler and baby.
So, the question at the moment is whether to move the computer upstairs to the study, blog very occasionally, give up totally and do other more homely type things and actually read a book or just put this down as a little phase I'm going through. Should I go back to basics? Don't feel obliged to comment, I'm having a bad day.
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16 comments:
I know what you mean. Life has been much easier for me, since I focussed my work on 1 niche, so all my work is basically halved, including the blogging. So now on my 'days off', I feel much more present with my little one
I'm not totally convinced that you are done with it totally though! But definitely dump it for a while if it feels 'heavy' - I don't recommend doing anything 'heavy' unless you 'have to' and most 'have tos' aren't quite that important.
Maybe you aren't getting enough back from it? Maybe you are doing so much that it's no longer a fun place for self-expression.
Keep us up to date with what you decide xxxx
I understand what you mean and I can't say that I don't often feel like you do.
I think that Mummy Whisperer is right, you have to have a hard look at what it brings to your life and what it takes away. You say that most of your writing work is not stimulating you. If you gave up blogging, what would that mean to where you are getting your creative stimulation? Could you write "just for yourself" without an audience?
For me, I wouldn't have the "audience" for my work in my day to day life. I am a liberal minded person in a conservative part of the country. I feel nurtured and sustained by the connections I have made virtually to enable me to give more to my "real" life. If that changes, I will have to reassess it.
Good luck with the decision and the operation.
Of course, you could always join us on the dark side of crafty/creativity blogs. We don't get as many hits, but the performance art of it is deeply rewarding...mwah ha ha ha ha!
Oh, don't give up ZA! We'd miss you. But - as Mummy Whisperer just said - if it's getting 'heavy', if it isn't fun then, yes - pull the plug. It's only a blog, after all. Sometimes it's easy to forget that, especially as mummy/daddy bloggers have begun attracting some attention. I started blogging just over a year ago to keep distant family up-to-date with Charlie's activities and at the same time chart my own transition from worker to house-husband. There are times I find the thought of another post a little daunting, but I still enjoy posting and - even more- reading what others might be thinking. It's a lovely, different, way to connect with a lovely group of people. But I wouldn't sacrifice anything else like conversations, books and so on just to do it. One thing has gone, though - reading the papers, magazines etc. Blogs like yours are much more interesting!
Your blog is a great record of your life as a Mummy. Remember Toddler Boy's second birthday and how you read back over the first two years of his life. How much did you laugh and smile when you read it back? How many difficult situations had you written about and resolved by putting them in words?
For Mums, blogging is our way of keeping in touch with the world and finding information about issues and products that are directly relevant to our lives. It is a great social network. It doesn't matter if your 'conversation' is cut off by a screaming toddler because you can go back to it five hours later. And for me, every time I press the 'publish post' button I feel a real buzz of having achieved something solid. Regardless of how many people read it.
All mum's need something to escape to and shouldn't feel guilty about it but if blogging is no longer enjoyable then you either need to re-evaluate what you want to get out of it and change your blogging habits to make it work, or find something else to escape to. But an escape you must have!
I just found you...don't want to miss your wonderful writing! But as others have said, if it's too much and you're re-evaluating, then do what's best for you. You might find, that after a break, you'll unleash a new creative side. Or, just write the blog as a personal journal for yourself...in draft...you can take a "sabbatical" and keep drafts and one day post them. It's cathartic to write about the things we go through.
I know what you're saying about competition. I feel like I just don't cut it...it's giving me a complex a bit. But, the 2 months or so that I have been doing this and on BMB have brought me a lot that's fulfilling my life in new ways and making me stronger as well.
My hubby, I think, probably hates what I have become at night time. Because I have such a rubbish computer I have to nick his laptop at night in order to get anything done. That means I'm not interacting with him! I have to find a balance...perhaps that's with a new computer! ;p
I'd miss you if you were gone but support you if you choose to take a break. And good luck with the operation...be thinking about you!
:) Karin
Definitely know what you mean - it scares me the panic I get into whenever our internet goes down 'no web access? end of the world!!' - which of course it isn't - but it's all too easy to get dependent on the cyber world - i've started making myself have no-log-on days for that very reason.
as for the blogging - why not make it a once a week thing? or a couple of nights a week once the children are in bed? maybe you'll fall in love with it again if you do it less often? :) x
I'd miss you if you stopped. But I think that moving the computer upstairs is a good idea and one I'm considering at the moment. Sitting just there it is such a temptation - oh, I'll just check my email/stats/other peoples blogs/comments. Doesn't need to be done every hour, and I now turn the computer right off when I'm not consciously sitting down to use it and find that quite liberating. Then I can blog in my computer time and run around with the kids when they are around. Only slight problem is that my work is suffering but better that than the kids.
I'd also add I think blogs that chase the lists can be dull. You should write about what you want to write about and not care too much about the list things. We, your loyal followers, love how you write.
Most of all, like everyone else reckons, the blog should be fun, enjoyable and not a chore. If it is getting to be something that you aren't enjoying then ditch it (sob sob).
Let us know what you are thinking. x
Hmm... Well, I just need to reiterate what others have said. If you're not enjoying it, take a step back. Change your blogging habits and/or think about what you do want to get out of it. If it becomes a chore then it's no good, really. I have gone through periods when I change the times I do blogging - for a while I was doing far too much while in charge of Rosemary and so moved it mostly to the evenings; though now I do tend to squeeze in a bit of reading in the morning while waking up! I am still able to just blog when something strikes me (usually once or twice a week), but if I started feeling obliged to blog and struggling to come up with anything to say, I would certainly stop (writing, at least; the reading is, as The Dotterel said, much more interesting than the papers or magazines).
Good luck in working out what you want to get out of blogging and changing your priorities as and how you want to.
It would be a shame to lose you, but if it's the way you decide to go, you've gotta do what's right for you.
I'd wait until after the op - you never know how you'll feel after one of those things, and if anything, it'll give you more time to think things over.
And you know, if you do decide to chuck it in, you can always come back!
Oh C, this really sounds like you're having a bad day. Don't quit, I would miss you, and lists don't say much anyway. There are lots of things you could do to raise the amount of readers, but do you really want to go down the commercial road?
This is supposed to be fun. Take a break if it isn't fun at the moment, but please come back then and let us know what you've been up to. xx MM
Don't go! I love your blog. I'm the most paranoid worrier out there and I always think my blog is a pile of crap! I also feel guilty if I haven't caught up with all the blogs I follow. I can see how you're feeling. I'm trying to limit it to times when the kids are asleep/at playgroup and a couple of evenings a week. I've found I really look forward to it.
Hope you're ok xxx
First of all good luck with your operation, it could be good blog fodder!
I too know exactly what you mean especially about the competition aspect. I used to compare myself to people with hundreds of followers and wonder what they'd got that I hadn't. I was also desperate to get on the Tots 100 list. Now frankly my dear I've stopped giving a shit. I write what I want, when I want and if people read it than that's great.
I'm not really even a mummy blogger as I don't write that much about my kids and I get bored of people who have nothing else to talk about (no offence to anyone you understand). I always enjoy reading your page but know how much time blogging can take up. x
Do you think that separating your family time and your computer / work time would help - I find that it doesn't take much for the computer to take over so I have to be determined to have time when I'm fully focused on Toddlergirl / Mr MAM / life and not distracted by other things
I love your blog - its great but don't let that sway you
And best of luck with the op
It's all been said already (I actually had 24 hours without internet). You know I would miss your writing. But at the end of the day it's what you decide is best for you. I know the feeling about the competetiveness. The great thing about blogging though is that it gives everyone a voice, and we can do with it what we like. That includes a break. I really like your writing, and often that of the top 10 I don't like. You're in my top 10 blogs anyway ;)
All the best for the op, and I hope you'll get the balance of mummydom, wifedom, blogdom and domestidom just right.
We moved recently and our office is now up 3 flights of stairs. Before it was on the ground floor and too accessible!
Now I have to make time to blog rather than make time for the kids. Jobs get done and everyone is happier.
Please don't give up completely!
Oh No! Don't go!! I am catching up on blogs, having left it aside for a little while for other stuff and like you I am wondering if it is starting to take over my life... The thing is that you are right, would spending too much time on the computer affect our mummy duties...? I don't really know, I am as confused as you are... I just need this stuff! and i'll tell you why I need it, it is because I need the mind juggling act. I need to think, to analyse and this helps me getting through the tough times. I need to share it too! Everyone here is so supportive, it is amazing. I hope this operation will go well and look after yourself, whatever it means for you. If you need to slow down, take a step back or keep going, then if it makes you happy, it is the right thing to do. xxx
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