Baby Group, marketed as a place to meet other mums make life long friends and somewhere for the children to be entertained. Somewhere to be judged, criticised and to rediscover the joys of sixth form common room politics. Can I make a stand here, I hate baby groups. I generally find that I am stuck in a room with a group of people whom I have nothing in common with. Most of whom seem more intent on looking at what pushchair, clothes and change bag I have.
Its a place where on the spot judgements are made of people and cliques form. I force myself to go along, mainly so the kids can have a little bit of interaction with children whose parents are not my personal friends. Its a chance for them to form their own allegiances and enemies and to be honest it does keep them amused and saves me from watching yet another repeat episode of Fireman Sam. I think after two years I am finally getting the hang of the behavioural pro’s and con’s of baby group and so I present my little list of what not to do at Baby Group (note to self);
- Shout at other peoples children. Whatever they do
- Appear looking like you have been dragged through a hedge backwards.
- Rush to the tea/ coffee as soon as it is available
- Appear with a twenty pound note
- Change your baby in the middle of the room
- Make eye contact with someone only to fail to speak to them
- Crack stupid unfunny jokes or comment about others present
- Follow your child around the room acting as a buffer against other children
- Let your child act like a feral monster
- Look miserable, smug, frightened or mental
…Go in the first place….