A Monthy Guide to Illness

EVERY OCTOBER SINCE HAVING CHILDREN I HAVE BEEN STRUCK DOWN WITH WINTER VOMITING VIRUS! Right, so now I’ve go that off my chest, here is the Being a Mummy Guide to Illness. If you don’t have children, this is roughly what you can expect;

January; Stinking cold, usually about the time when you have planned a special post Christmas treat involving you and your partner
February; This will be the remnants of January’s cold
March; You might feel better this month, although you will get a bit annoyed that the weather will not allow you to go outdoors with the children, thus leading to mild SAD
April; Probably another cold, the first wave of chicken pox will occur leaving you in terror about leaving the house. The children will get a strange viral rash
May; Normally another cold (children get ten per year on average apparently, they will give the majority of them to you)
June; Again chicken pox will raise its head, along with slapped cheek syndrome
July; A strange tummy bug leading to diarrhea and wind
August; Strange ‘viral rashes will appear on your children’. You will briefly consider meningitis, You pray you don’t get these rashes, the embarrassment
September; Flu, vomiting, strange dizzy bugs
October; With the regularity of the annual bird migration you will get winter vomiting virus.
November; You might be alright this month, if you don’t catch Swine Flu
December; I normally get the flu or a Chest Infection, last year I ended up in hospital

There you have it, you might want to factor in anything that you haven’t been immunised against in that equation, as I can guarantee that between now and when your children grow up you will experience all manner of disease…. I am in a joyful mood

Addendum; The hubby now has Swine Flu. I am off to paint the cross on the door, I could be some time…

SHARE:

9 Responses

  1. miss leslieanne 15th October 2009 / 7:47 pm

    ah, so much joy ro look forward too! :P<br>feel better xx

  2. mummywhisperer 15th October 2009 / 8:48 pm

    Ahhh, bless your heart. I used to joke that Bush should have used children as weapons of mass destruction.<br>But to cheer you up a little, it has improved this year for me, (of course, I ironically now have bizarre pregnancy related upset stomachs pretty much constantly!), so maybe next year it&#39;ll ease for you – or possibly the year after.<br>I&#39;ve been hit by a chest infection at the

  3. Jennysnail 15th October 2009 / 9:15 pm

    The good news is that if your kids get loads of illnesses as toddlers then they will become immune and not get ill as often when they start school. Not fun at the time though.

  4. The Dotterel 16th October 2009 / 7:46 am

    Scary – sounds like an extract from Nostradamus! Maybe 2010&#39;ll be the year of the immune system? Sound like it needs a boost…

  5. Domestic Goddesque 16th October 2009 / 8:58 am

    Makes the SPD look like a walk in the park….are you sure I have this to look forward to??!<br><br>I like Mummywhisperer&#39;s WMD idea though…

  6. Catharine Withenay 16th October 2009 / 9:01 am

    I guess you don&#39;t want to know that my children rarely get ill. Barely even a snuffly nose…

  7. Mark 16th October 2009 / 2:50 pm

    The slightly odd thing is that this list sounds just like my Mother&#39;s ailments too. She&#39;s seventy five and a COMPLETE hypochondriac; I&#39;m sure she has hot line to the doctor.

  8. Rebel Mother 16th October 2009 / 6:20 pm

    You need more garlic!<br><br>Keeps those colds and stuff away. However, you may stink a bit.<br><br>Its not stress is it?<br><br>I eat loads of garlic….probably why I dont have any friends!<br><br>RMxx

  9. Metropolitan Mum 16th October 2009 / 9:04 pm

    Oh crap. All my best wishes to Alex and may the Swine Flu virus stay away from you. <br>Little L only had one cold so far. *knocking on wood frantically*<br>Good to have you back.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *