Romulus; The God of Dogs Muck

“The glorious gifts of the gods are not to be cast aside.”
–Homer, The Iliad

Romulus was the Roman God of dogs muck. Revered across the Roman Empire worshippers of Romulus would quite literally poopa scoop like their lives meant nothing without this joy. The dogs muck would then be deposited in special red canisters and every so often a priest would come and take it away, burning it with lavender and incense in a deep pit within the temple. Followers felt assured of a place in Elysium.

Alright, this is a lie. But to the dog owner that didn’t poopa scoop in Sherrardswood Nature Reserve, Welwyn Garden City leaving me to wheel my pushchair through some leaves and get more than I deserved, if I ever find you I will be re-enacting the part of this ritual in a modern day manner. This will involve scooping up your dogs poo and sticking it through your letter box. The same goes for anyone else who I catch allowing their dog to poo in leaves and craftily covering it over. As you can tell, I am not looking forward to the traditional Autumn chore of toddler shoe washing. It takes the joy out of kicking fallen leaves.


2 Responses

  1. Alex 6th October 2009 / 7:37 pm

    At least I managed to stop you wiping it off with your shoe 🙂

  2. Metropolitan Mum 7th October 2009 / 2:47 pm

    Haha. Yes! Let it all out. Push it through the letter box! Or better: put it in a paper bag, set in on fire and place it in front of their door. Let's see who is trying to extinguish the fire with their shoes…

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