Last night was a typical night in our house, Fifi was up every hour, then we had a 5:30 am start to the day. This was after a half day at work in my part-time job and an afternoon of childcare with both baby and Toddler. In short, I am exhausted. I can tell, I have spots, I have bags under my eyes. I feel tired permanently and I am in such a routine of non-sleep that I don’t think I could sleep even if I had the chance.
We have had pretty much, if you include the first pregnancy three and a half years of this. I love my children and I am happy that I had them, I do feel absolutely blessed. However, I am convinced that they have aged me at least ten years.
I didn’t have much choice, I wasn’t in a position to have children before my thirties. Instead, I went to university, tried to have a career, rooted myself in a comfortable lifestyle and generally became a bit set in my ways. Looking back, I feel a bit skeptical as to whether this was actually the right choice. Certainly, if I had got onto the property ladder earlier, we would have had an even nicer house, or a smaller mortgage.
Where I live, I could probably be considered quite a young mum, in fact at most of the mother and baby groups, I am. It’s an affluent commuter belt town. There are large numbers of twins, many, many people have become pregnant as a result of IVF. Is this a good thing?
The mums in their twenties that I see, have lower expectations for their standard of living. I think it’s that they are not so used to the nice restaurant meals, endless clothes, theatre trips, sleep and so forth. As a result they don’t, generally, seem to ponder and worry and even push their children quite as much. They accept things much easier and generally seem the fare a lot better on the lack of sleep. I just don’t think parenthood takes its toll quite as much. Some would argue that this is of course, nature. Its only in the last 100 years or so that we have been able to really dictate when we have our children, biologically. I am sure that there are probably health benefits to doing it earlier.
With some of these arguments in mind, I think that actually, on reflection its much better to have your children earlier on in life, for your sake. So if its something you are considering, don’t wait. There is never a right time.