The Heart-Shaped Potato Brings Celebrity

Last week was an especially busy week. So much to do, so much theorising, worrying and consideration. I managed to upset some people, make others happy and fit in a trip to the beach. Amongst all this busy-ness, I found time to do some cheesy mashed potato for Fifi. I was amazed to discover this potato in the shape of a heart. I remember reading of strangely shaped vegetables in the Fortean Times many moons ago. They can be quite odd, some people find penis shaped parsnips, others carrots in the shape of Jesus. In my discovery, I joined their ranks. I took it as a sign, someone likes me, other than my husband.

A few moments later and I was on the Internet, it seems that celebrity is found via the heart shaped potato. Women in backwater towns in deepest darkest America become celebrities and this is the route to their fifteen minutes of fame. I think I should contact the Graham Norton Show, this could be my time. Even better, one sold on Ebay. The latest bid recorded was a whole £6, that would keep us in potatoes for 2 and a half months according to my calculations. Count your blessings and look at your potatoes, who knows what might come your way!

The Heart-Shaped Potato Brings Celebrity

A Philosophical Post

It's very easy to dwell on the small things in life. When you turn around and look back you realise how quickly it all goes. I realise I sound like an elderly person saying that, but the other day I had one of those moments. I was standing outside the bank with the kids in the pushchair, waiting for my mum to get some money out. A knackered old car drove past and it was playing an early 1980's power ballad. We were in a sort of non-descript town, no-one else was around. At that moment in time, I was transported back to 1981, except I had my children. This is a picture of me c. 1981, I was auditioning for a part in the film 'Don't Look Now'. My sister sits in her vintage Maclaren. We are outside the zebra enclosure at London Zoo.

I thought to myself in that moment outside the bank, that I had essentially become my mother. I think this all the time, but this was different as it was influenced by culture rather than genes. I wasn't hearing myself say the very same phrases my mum does. Rather, I just sort of felt that I had become her.

When I look back on my life up till now, several things stand out; birth, death, moving house, school plays, days out, holidays, moments when I experienced feelings of pure happiness, the usual stuff. The small things I cant really remember. I am sure I probably was jealous of the child who had a bigger eraser collection than me, or the one whose parents took them to Disney World. But I cant even remember their name. It was all wasted energy.

I was born in the mid 1970's. It hadn't been long since a man actually had landed on the moon. It was only recently when I began to consider the possibility that it could have been a PR stunt by the Americans. This never crossed my mind when I was a child. I had a Spectrum computer, I used to load cassettes of games like Valhalla. It took ages for them to load, then they crashed after five minutes. The sound the cassette player made was part of the experience. When our school got a BBC micro-computer there was universal fanfare. I liked the keys on the keyboard, they made a satisfying noise unlike those on my Spectrum. When I went to school, Thatcher came into power, this was viewed by the child version of me as a brilliant thing. A woman in the most powerful job in the country. Inspirational.

We listened to the Beach Boys, Rolling Stones, Elton John, Madonna with the odd bit of Johnny Hates Jazz and T'Pau thrown in. I often tied pom-poms in my hair, I wore those luminous plastic bangles and lacy gloves. I had socks which started off very small and expanded till they fitted and a little yellow ra-ra skirt. I was annoyed when the Littlest Hobo, Heidi and Silas came on the television for the 100th time. I kept treading on my sisters Sindy doll shoes. This was an enduring source of pain.

These things flavoured my life. I loved my childhood. I thought it would go on forever. I dreamed of having a good job, marrying a kind, tall, dark, handsome man and living happily ever after. Before I knew it, this did all happen to me. I am lucky. But it has all happened very quickly. Days go on forever, years seem to evaporate.

Nowadays, life is an endless muddle of making ends meet, keeping the children entertained, and trying to keep on top of work and housework. I have to admit, I have rarely actually had the time to sit down and saviour the little smiles that baby Fifi gives me. Or watch as the Toddler becomes more and more communicative. I lay in bed and wonder if their memories will be watching Fireman Sam, or of me and them rushing around the shops, trying to get the products to make the cheapest possible dinners for the weeks ahead. I suspect that my mum felt the same pressures and directional pulls, just with a different soundtrack. I hope my children will be as happy as I was.

All I am trying to say, is that when you are getting frustrated with your baby screaming all night, or the toddler tantruming in Tesco's. As I do all the time. Take a bit of time to step back and saviour the moment, in its entirety. Think about how lucky you are, how you got there and the joy of life. History is a powerful thing, life does repeat itself. You can use it to learn from the mistakes of others or you can simply just enjoy where you were in the past at specific moments. I often forget that my children are separate from me, with their own sense of being, their own memories and their own interests, tears and joy. They are part of me, but distinct. In thirty years time, they will have the same sort of moments as I did standing outside the bank. Such is the wonder of life.

Postscript; This blog inspired a little blog love!

A Philosophical Post

Bad Moods and Being British

Today we took a trip to a certain local playground. I had visions of a happy time for my toddler and his friend, playing with other children, enjoying the slide and the swings in the sunshine. So, it's the school holidays, but, this is a toddler-focussed playground. We should be safe there.
Think again, the toddler and his friend are lucky to escape without injury. We were confronted with hoards of parents sitting at benches chatting to eat other whilst their teenagers and 'older infants' literally terrorised the toddlers. At one point, I looked at my boy smiling innocently enough, then I looked up above him. To my absolute horror there was a child sliding across the roof of the baby slide which is probably at least 8 ft up. I looked around; all I could see was a woman looking at this in a really non-chalant manner. What does one do? As much as toddler boy would like to see the air ambulance, I don't think he would like to experience a ride in it in agony after he is flattened. I could feel my bad mood building. I wasn’t the only one, one mum I spoke to was also getting most annoyed.
We tried the swings, I decided that the toddler slide and climbing frames were far too dangerous with the big kids abusing them. This was traumatic as well, the toddler was happy enough, however, one family thought that it was an acceptable game to let their young teenager ride his scooter behind toddler boy in the few seconds when he was closer to me, than them. I pondered who might come off worse and hoped it was the teenager. Then, a family with yet another young teenager appeared next to us. Apparently, it was acceptable to let the teenager stand on a swing and lean about on it whilst their little one had a go on another swing. Not good, and bad manners when there is a queue of toddlers patiently waiting.
Being British, I restrained myself from saying anything. I just silently fumed. We left early. Funnily enough, as we strolled around the park I saw lots of slightly disappointed toddlers and a lot of parents with strained looks. Summer in the city can be difficult.

Bad Moods and Being British

The Phases of Childhood; Things They Didnt Tell You

Toddler boy absolutely, utterly and completely refuses his bath. This has been building up for a while, first it started with the hair wash. In his little world, a hairwash equals a breath hold. Mummy and daddy then fuss around and long term, it means very few hair washes and a stinky head. The progress of this smelly condition is easy to chart as it continued on to a breath hold in the bath just for having a wash until nowadays, a breath hold outside the bath. When a bath is a possibility. "No! don't want to!" then shrieks of absolute terror and loudness so extreme, that I'm fully expecting a social worker to appear at any minute.

This got me thinking; was it a boy thing? After all, little boys definitely have a very distinctive smell about them. When crowded together, the smell can be over-poweringly deadly. A factor that puts me off re-training to become a teacher. A quick Twitter later and it seems that no, this is indeed a child thing. Yuck!

Therefore I present my work in progress (my two are still quite young);
The Phases of Childhood- Things They Didn't Tell You (applicable to both girls and boys, ages are an approximation)
Phase 1 (Birth- approx 3 months) Projectile Poos and Wees. Without going into great detail. Hubby had to repaint one of our bedroom walls.
Phase 2 (3 months-6 months/ 18 years) Incessant Eating. Just when you thought you could sit down and watch TV, you will find a small child requiring milk/ juice/ snack/ meal or pre-snack milk/ juice etc etc
Phase 3 (6 months- 1 year) The main period of carpet ruining. You thought it was reflux early on. No, no, no! Its the phase when they start moving, grinding their rusks, bogeys, etc into the carpet whilst ripping it up and generally producing slime which stains in hard lumps which you will find in places years later. At this stage, you will also find it impossible to change a nappy without poo being spread everywhere as the baby learns that it can move away from you. I advise the purchase of rubber gloves.
Phase 4 (1 year- 15 months) Pot plant ruination, an appetite for mud will develop. This will lead to a general lack of soil, stained clothes, carpet and strange looks from friends. At this stage you will also find it even more impossible to change a nappy without poo being spread everywhere as the toddler runs away mid nappy change.
Phase 4 (15 months - 2 years) The start of the smelly phase, hair washing will become traumatic. they will insist on wearing the same T-shirt for days on end.
Phase 5 (2 years-....) Forget trying to bath your child, who will have lumps of poo welded to their bottom as they refuse to potty train. They will not allow anything remotely resembling cleanliness.

To be continued....

The Phases of Childhood; Things They Didnt Tell You

The Dummy Dilemma

Second baby syndrome has suddenly hit hard. Baby Fifi has been a dream child compared to her brother. She doesn't hold her breath, she can be persuaded to do things and she laughs and smiles all the time. I am more laid back with her and I find it all together much easier. However, with this I realise that I have made a terrible mistake.

With Toddler Boy, I followed Gina Ford's instructions and removed the dummy after 3 months. With Fifi I forgot to do this and I have let her have it for too long. At about 5 months me and hubby decided that perhaps we would let her carry on for a bit longer as it might save us having to drag around a stinking comforter.

Now, at 7 months old, she really cannot be parted from the dummy. She drops them around the house and seeks out old dirty ones which she re-docks. She cries if she cant find it at night in her cot. Perhaps more annoyingly, I realise that most of the pictures in existence of her show her with a little dummy.

Fifi loves her dummy, even more than food, which she really, really loves (at 7 months she happily eats her way through pizza, pasta and full sized dinners). Can I be a cruel mummy and take it away? I'm not so sure. This means that I might actually end up being one of those mothers who I used to scorn, pre- baby. There is a real chance that my toddler might have a dummy and yes, I do give them crisps to eat in the pushchair!

The Dummy Dilemma

Paper Mache Heads

A trip around the Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology in Cambridge always goes down well. Early on in my museums career I had the privileged to actually work there on project to catalogue a load of glass plate negatives collected by Victorian anthropologists in exotic destinations like the Torres Strait and Papua New Guinea.

I spent my days looking at fabulous images of natives re-enacting head-hunting scenes and so forth. It was fabulous, I met lots of well known archaeologists and anthropologists and got to go out for lunch with them. I worked in an inspiring place, where I felt as sense of wonder every time I walked through the door and I could afford to buy a few new dresses. Anyhow, every so often we go back to have a look at the latest temporary exhibition or just to look at the stuff. Toddler boy is amazed by the totem pole and I still love looking at the Inuit artifacts.

Last time we visited, they had a new exhibition which included this series of sculptures of heads. I won't go into their significance and history here. Suffice to say that I found them inspirational in an artistic way. So, I present my idea for a kids project: Papier Mache Heads. Yes, I know this has been done a million times before, but you have to admit, if they are presented like those at the Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology, they look rather cool!

Step 1; Blow up a balloon

Step 2; Cut up lots of paper into strips

Step 3; Mix up the Papier Mache paste stuff. I think you can do this two ways; 1 part flour, one part water mixed together or 3/4 glue to 1/4 water all mixed together.

Step 4; Stick the paper onto the balloon using the mixture, mould the features and so forth

Step 5; Wait till dry

Step 6; Paint however you like!

Step 7; Display in your own mini art gallery

Paper Mache Heads

Things not to do at Baby Group

Baby Group, marketed as a place to meet other mums make life long friends and somewhere for the children to be entertained. Somewhere to be judged, criticised and to rediscover the joys of sixth form common room politics. Can I make a stand here, I hate baby groups. I generally find that I am stuck in a room with a group of people whom I have nothing in common with. Most of whom seem more intent on looking at what pushchair, clothes and change bag I have.

Its a place where on the spot judgements are made of people and cliques form. I force myself to go along, mainly so the kids can have a little bit of interaction with children whose parents are not my personal friends. Its a chance for them to form their own allegiances and enemies and to be honest it does keep them amused and saves me from watching yet another repeat episode of Fireman Sam. I think after two years I am finally getting the hang of the behavioural pro's and con's of baby group and so I present my little list of what not to do at Baby Group (note to self);

• Shout at other peoples children. Whatever they do
• Appear looking like you have been dragged through a hedge backwards.
• Rush to the tea/ coffee as soon as it is available
• Appear with a twenty pound note
• Change your baby in the middle of the room
• Make eye contact with someone only to fail to speak to them
• Crack stupid unfunny jokes or comment about others present
• Follow your child around the room acting as a buffer against other children
• Let your child act like a feral monster
• Look miserable, smug, frightened or mental

...Go in the first place....

Things not to do at Baby Group

How to Make a 1970's Skirt

A little while ago, I was looking at my mum's old sewing patterns. I had been to the shop and realised that by the time I bought a new pattern and the material, I may just as well go and buy a new skirt. Her patterns have provided me with a wealth of fantastic basic shapes which can be adapted to form the basis of any wardrobe. My aim is to try to take you through some of them.

This is my first sewing tutorial so apologies for its lack of quality. Making this skirt is very quick and simple. I think that anyone who has a small amount of sewing skill should be able to work out what I mean. I promise my tutorials will get better! Feel free to add your additional comments and explanations... READ IT THROUGH BEFORE YOU START TO MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND! I cannot take any responsibility for wasted material or frustrations...

The images have numbers on them, this refers to how and where you might want to take measurements and so forth.
For this skirt you will need approximately 2 metres of fabric, a zip and a button. I would suggest that you cut out a pattern using some newspaper before you actually cut the material. This will enable you to tweak it before you do it in real life!

Step 1; Measure your waist and add a couple of centimetres for the seam allowance,this measurement will equate with 1 on the pattern. Since the skirt is made in 2 halves you need to divide it to get the length of one piece of fabric.




Step 2; Decide roughly how long you want the skirt this gives you the length

Step 3; Then you want to cut your paper. Try to aim for this sort of shape. Use the measurement you took for step 1 and the one you took for step 2 to form the basic and draw your shape, the length of A really depends on how flowy you want the skirt to look. When you get to cutting your material you will fold the material and place the edge where I have marked 3 on the first image along this fold. Essentially so you double up the shape of your pattern to create the overall large shape illustrated in the images. You will need to do this twice to cut the front and back panels of the skirt.

Step 4; In the middle of the back panel of your skirt you need to position your zip. To do this simply cut a line the length of your zip.

Step 5; To cut out the waistband. Take the measurement of your waist and add an inch or so for an overlap for the button.Decide on the thickness of the waistband you want, 2 inches is good for this skirt and then double it, as the waistband needs to be folded over in half.

Step 6; This is the hemline (this will be the last thing you want to do.

Sewing the pieces together
**Firstly, if you want to put the pockets on you will need to 'hem' all the edges of the pockets. then pin them to the front panel of the skirt in the position that you want them. You can then sew them onto the front panel. Don't forget that you want to leave the openings where you put your hands into your pockets!

**At this point you may wish to fit the zip into the skirt back panel.

**Pin together the side edges of your skirt (along length 2) and then sew together. remember you need to do this with the right sides facing so you create a seam!

** Pin your waistband onto the skirt again, right sides together. The waistband should overlap at the middle of the back panel where the zip is. So you can create a buttonhole. Then sew this to the skirt panels. You can then fold the waistband in half length ways and I prefer to hand sew the insides together.

** you should now have your basic skirt. Try it on, and make sure that it fits around the waist properly.

** Now you can create your button hole and sew on the button.

** Hem your skirt to the length that you want .

How to Make a 1970's Skirt

Cooking Masterclass 2; Spinach and Ricotta Pastry Parcels

My cooking skills are now legendary and thanks to my Annabel Karmel book review post, I now have a few requests for the Being a Mummy household staples. Here I give you Spinach and Ricotta Pastry Parcels, the idiots way. Ideal for freezing, I use these as a finger food. However, the beauty is that you can also use them as an adults meal with vegetables or as a snack. In fact, provided you like pastry, spinach and ricotta you can do a million and one things...

You need:
1 packet of Spinach (I like to use the baby leaves)
1 packet of ready to roll puff pastry
1 onion
1 oz of butter
9 oz of Ricotta (or just a packet)
1 egg (if you can be bothered to glaze the pastry- I cant so I leave this out)

• Chop up the onion.
• Wash the spinach and stuff it all into a saucepan with some water, cook it up so its a sort of sludge
• Melt the butter into a frying pan and then stick the chopped onion in and fry it.
• Roll out the pastry and cut it into the shapes you want to create- strips, parcels, animals or anything else that takes your fancy...
• Mix together the cooked onion and spinach
• Put the onion/spinach and a dollop of ricotta into your pastry and squash all the edges together to create a little parcel (or whatever)
• At this point you can either leave to cool before you freeze....
• or cook at 200 degrees for about 20 minutes but I would check after 10 just to be sure! If you smell burning you have left it too long!

Cooking Masterclass 2; Spinach and Ricotta Pastry Parcels

Cooking Masterclass 2; Spinach and Ricotta Pastry Parcels

My cooking skills are now legendary and thanks to my Annabel Karmel book review post, I now have a few requests for the Being a Mummy household staples. Here I give you Spinach and Ricotta Pastry Parcels, the idiots way. Ideal for freezing, I use these as a finger food. However, the beauty is that you can also use them as an adults meal with vegetables or as a snack. In fact, provided you like pastry, spinach and ricotta you can do a million and one things...

You need:
1 packet of Spinach (I like to use the baby leaves)
1 packet of ready to roll puff pastry
1 onion
1 oz of butter
9 oz of Ricotta (or just a packet)
1 egg (if you can be bothered to glaze the pastry- I cant so I leave this out)

• Chop up the onion.
• Wash the spinach and stuff it all into a saucepan with some water, cook it up so its a sort of sludge
• Melt the butter into a frying pan and then stick the chopped onion in and fry it.
• Roll out the pastry and cut it into the shapes you want to create- strips, parcels, animals or anything else that takes your fancy...
• Mix together the cooked onion and spinach
• Put the onion/spinach and a dollop of ricotta into your pastry and squash all the edges together to create a little parcel (or whatever)
• At this point you can either leave to cool before you freeze....
• or cook at 200 degrees for about 20 minutes but I would check after 10 just to be sure! If you smell burning you have left it too long!

Cooking Masterclass 2; Spinach and Ricotta Pastry Parcels

Tales from the Disco Lift; Butlins Ocean Hotel Review

So I am the ultimate ligger! Can I have a prize? Not only did I get to go on the BMB Butlins trip, (just realised with a bit of mistyping that could be called the Butlin Strip). Not that anything untoward occurred I'll have you know. I'm trying to say that I wasn't even obliged to write anything up, as I wasn't actually the person invited. I just attached myself to Daddacool and yes I realise I did that 5 years ago, I'm just really organised. The image left contains some other well known mummy bloggers, their faces are covered to protect their identity, or perhaps because they were watching something.

Saddled with a horrid cold, which I did my best to stifle in case anyone caught anything, or spoilt their holiday worrying about Swine Flu, I struggled along for the champagne reception and the complimentary trip to the Spa. It was tough. But what did I really think of it all?

Well, I have to admit that I'm the terrible snobbish sort of person that would never, ever in a million years even dream of setting foot within 5 miles of a Butlins resort. This was for my own personal safety. I was worried I might get squashed by all the fat, candyfloss with chips eating, union jack clad tourists all of them keen to have their picture taken with Shane Richie or someone similar. Despite this, on this occasion, I thought to myself that I should keep an open mind. T'is better to experience than not to experience. The only cost to me was time, what was there to lose?

Driving down to Bognor I was a bit nervous, then we got lost and I thought Daddacool might lose his cool. I resigned myself to the inevitable. Imagine my surprise when we drove up to find a really plush swanky hotel. We were directed over towards the amusements and I looked around, there wasn't a union jack in sight. People looked respectable. Perhaps this wouldn't be quite so bad after all.

The champagne reception was very nice, I haven't had Bucks Fizz since before Fifi was born. I went down nicely and it was great to see some friendly familiar mummy blogger faces. Then Toddler boy and Daddacool encountered the swimming fish projection. That shut them up, hooray! I wish they had these everywhere. Can we have one at home? Pleeeaseeee!

Checking into the hotel was smooth, if a bit colourful, then we entered the lift. The hotel has Disco Lifts. Now, this is real evidence for me being a total misery. Daddacool and Toddler boy stood in the blue light and danced away to the cheesy seventies disco music. I felt faintly irritated by it. Then I considered how I would feel being stuck in the dark with a stranger dancing away. For me, the horror of that thought is frankly frightening. Lifts like this need to have a warning on them.

The rooms are plush and lovely and cannot be faulted. We loved the balcony where you could spy on people. Soundproofing must be good, as no-one complained about the racket we made. Or perhaps Joner is just very polite. The bed was comfortable and Toddler boy was safely away in his own room which had special under bed lighting. I have to admit, I like to read my book in bed and I did find this quite hard to do. I could either have BRIGHT light or a rotating series of lights which just gave me a headache. They looked cool though. These lights were also available in the bathroom, so you could have a bath where the water sort of changed colour. This was brilliant to look at, but when I relaxed in the nice big bath bath I was rudely un-relaxed every minute or so; nice dim light, arghhh bright light, relax, nice dim light- arghh bright light.....

The food was good and plentiful. The restaurant and bar look cool and trendy. It was up to the standard of some of the other posh hotels I have been to and the sort of place you might like to get dressed up for. The breakfast was certainly filling. I had to restrain Daddacool in case he exploded and Fifi did her best to eat 4 slices of toast and cereals. There was a lovely Balearic feel to it all. I felt like I really was on holiday, a rare thing for the UK and for me, generally.

Time without the kids is a rare commodity and spurred on by Daddacool and Antonia, I had the pleasure of going to the spa. Unfortunately, it was literally alone, that was a shock to the system in itself. Being alone was a bit boring, as even the most miserable of us like to have someone to chat to. I think the main issue I had with the spa, was that it really was a bit too bright for me. It's nice to relax and the colours are not really congenial for that. But Butlins isn't really about being calm, that so the atmosphere fitted the ethos well. Personally, I didn't think that the brightness translated well in the changing rooms which had the air of Council swimming pool about them. Overall, the spa was quite small, I'm not sure how it will fare when there are lots of people there.

Oh, how I liked the irony of sitting in the hot tub outside in Bognor Regis. I also enjoyed the jet pool, if I sat at the right angle I could increase my chest size by about 4 cup sizes! The snow cave in the spa was frankly too cold for the likes of me and I stood there like a lemon wondering if I was meant to sit down on the floor. No, it wasn't deep enough to make a snow angel. What I needed was a good swim, but there wasn't a pool! I have to admit I'm still a fan of the Spa at The Grove, just as well its just down the road from me.

Butlins really comes into its own with the amusements and entertainments on offer. We had to sit through Bob the Builder, Pingu's exercise class and the opening ceremony with all the characters. Toddler Boy loved it. He wants more. We spent two whole mornings watching him go round and round on the Noddy cars, the airplanes and the ladybird rides. He also met Dino, Billy Bear and Fireman Sam. He had the time of his life, we were happy because he was enjoying it. The Redcoats really were like they are supposed to be, bright and cheery. I was in awe, I realise now why I work in a museum where I can wallow in my own misery. I would be the Victor Meldrew of Redcoats. Perhaps that could be my unique selling point at interview.

Seriously though, I didn't realise that Butlins did all of that stuff for kids and I can see why people go. You really do have the time of your life, if you are little. Now with the opening of this hotel, it is possible for adults to have a pretty good time too. Imagine; you can sit in the spa and dine at a nice restaurant safe in the knowledge that the kids are entertained and amused by others in a supremely safe manner. So much so, that you are fairly guaranteed of a good nights sleep. Now that's what I call a holiday. I am imagining working there being a bit like Hotel Babylon, full of gossip and intrigue. I am a convert and yes we will be back. It was a few days full of memories I won't forget!

Tales from the Disco Lift; Butlins Ocean Hotel Review

More Toys From Our Childhoods!

A few more for you to enjoy, apologies for the quality of some of the pictures. I couldn't be bothered to get the SLR out!

Here you have, Blossom the My Little Pony, a metal framed dog walker, The Fisher Price Formula One Car, The Fisher Price Camper Van with a boat on its roof and some slightly disturbing 1970's saucepans....

More Toys From Our Childhoods!

They Were Worth the Money!

Earlier this week I mentioned that the children were playing with the toys that me and the hubby had when we were kids. Surprisingly robust, the majority of the toys they play with were made by Fisher Price when they were part of Quaker Oats. These toys really have stood the test of time. As I'm currently away at Butlins enjoying the Blogfest, I thought you might like to take a trip back in time (or to the present day if you live in our house) during my absence. More images of seventies and eighties toys for you to reminisce about will follow in the forthcoming weeks!

They Were Worth the Money!

Report from Butlins

I'm currently in Butlins at the Ocean Hotel with the other mummy bloggers. Check out Daddacool's post

Report from Butlins

Fame and Fortune Awaits

Following my post a few weeks back where I considered giving up blogging a few things have occurred. I made it into the Top 100 Parent Bloggers list at number 43! Then, fellow St Albans blogger The Mummy Whisperer pointed this out to me (see image). Yes! I may not be one of the Disney 7, I may not be in the Ciscion top ten, I may not even be very good. BUT. I'm top of Google- ha ha. She does a lap of honour around the living room. Its me! Finally! Thank you all ever so much for reading and supporting me.

Fame and Fortune Awaits

Elvis Spotted in Chiswell Green!

What do Elvis, the Police Force, the Fire Service and Victim Support all have in common? They all appeared together at the first Chiswell Green Community Fun Day. I've been to plenty of fetes but never before, have I had the pleasure to experience a Community Fun Day. I can't tell you what the difference is, other than I failed to spot a tombola. I did spot one man who looked a bit scary, like Jaws from James Bond or something. I couldn't help myself but say to hubby " look at that mans teeth...". We stood in awe, the chap must have been deaf. Either that, or he is biding his time.

The Fun day was honoured with celebrity (see image above), as Chiswell Green is the home of the UKs Jewish Elvis. Toddler boy remained surprisingly unimpressed with his tales of appearing in Holby City and humorous puns. I winced a bit, I feel a bit self conscious and embarrassed watching such things.

Anyhow, I got to go on a high speed train ride, at £1.50 for me and Toddler Boy it was much better value than First Capital Connect. It also had the added bonus of making me feel a bit dizzy when I got off, after going round and round in circles. Toddler Boy was impressed. However, the best was yet to come in the shape of one of the St Albans Fire Engines!

I've had the pleasure of meeting the crew twice before. Once when a piece of raison toast caught fire at work. It wasn't my fault, I was cornered by an elderly person wanting to tell me their life story. The second time was also at work, when a series of mysterious electrical surges across the galleries caused lights to blow in sequence. A bit like in Poltergeist and then the printer caught fire. That was a lovely drama, one of my more enjoyable days at work.

The local Firemen are all rather nice to talk to and to look at. So, me and Fifi didn't mind it when Toddler Boy (AKA Fireman Sam) and they hubby wanted to climb aboard and spend hours looking at all the buttons and hoses. It was nice standing in the sunshine with Elvis to keep us entertained and a whole crew of Firemen to look at...

The day was a success, I know this because Toddler Boy had to be dragged away in tears. I quite like the idea of Community Days, keep them coming.

Elvis Spotted in Chiswell Green!

The Badge Collection; Part One

It's no secret that I hardly ever throw anything away. But I have been trying to recently, honest. However, this lack of ability to throw our stuff means that I have an entire garage and a room in our house full of junk, including most of my childhood possessions. In recent years these have proved incredibly useful as local museums have genuinely started to ask me if they can borrow bits and bobs. Anyone remember George the Robot, Birthday Care Bear, the Get-a-long Gang, Roland Rat, Tiny Tears and Strawberry Shortcake? If you do, I know how old you are. If you don't, I could provide you with the answers. It is, of course, the ultimate in meanness too. Toddler boy has my sisters old scooter and her push- along dog. With its dangerous sharp metal frame, the dog is a hit with all the kids. It did cross my mind recently to buy him a new scooter, but I probably won't, as funds are short. So perhaps, if anyone has one they would like reviewed.... (hint, hint).

Anyway, yesterday I found my old school satchel (above) and inside was full of little treasures. Due to popular demand, I give you The Badge Collection, Part One. I like to keep my readers dangling a bit and really, you can't have too much excitement. Here you can see the GLC Southbank music festival badge (c. 1980?), one which I presume marked the end of the Argentinian War and of course, the piece d' resistance the launch of the Access Credit Card, no I mean, the badge that E.T gave me at Barnet Cinema.

The Badge Collection; Part One

The Contents of my Primary School Satchel

I was clearing out the garage today when I came across my primary school satchel! Now thirty years old, it's surprisingly pristine. A museum piece in itself, I may do a little blog post about it at some point. However, the best things were inside, my badge collection, oh, yes, this has to be seen to be believed. But I couldn't be bothered to lay it out and photograph it, so that's for the future too. But best of all these really lovely teethers circa 1975 and still in as good as new condition. Fifi is going to be the envy of all her friends...

The Contents of my Primary School Satchel

Review; Annabel Karmel Top 100 Finger Foods

I'm a terrible cook, but I am trying. I have to admit I took this book out of the library and thought it was so good, that I was scraping together the pennies in order to buy my own copy. Then, yet again, the gods looked down on me feeding the kids Fish-Fingers instead of prime organic chicken in order to save a few pence and took matters into their own hands. Voila! A copy appeared at the door.

Finger foods are ideal for babies and toddlers who haven't quite got to grips with using cutlery. With Toddler Boy, I was forever making home-made Pizza, Spinach and Ricotta Pastry Parcels, Vegetarian Ravioli, Macaroni Cheese and Chips. Now I have two of them, although one does use a knife and fork occasionally, I really am trying to make a bit more of an effort.

The main problem with feeding children, is trying to make dinners that everyone in the household likes. Otherwise you end up running around like a headless chicken trying to cook separate dinners for everyone. The beauty of Annabel Karmel's cookery is that the recipes taste just as nice of adults as the kids. Indeed, I've often given dinner parties using her recipes alone and the cheesecake that I often make as a treat is one of hers.

I particularly liked this cook book as the recipes on the whole were quite simple, they didn't use millions of ingredients that I had to buy specially and they could be easily adapted. So what have we made so far? I used the strawberry and yogurt ripple cornets recipe to make the ice-cream. Hubby made the Salmon Fishcakes which went down well with Toddler boy but we thought were a little bit sweet thanks to the inclusion of Tomato Ketchup. However, the greatest success of all were the Minty Lamb Koftas which were really easy and quick to make and lovely. I adapted the recipe to the tastes of the boys in our house and made them into burgers. The addition of Oven Baked Wedges made a dinner which was cheap, reasonably healthy but perhaps more importantly was a success. The above photograph illustrates my result. Excuse my childrens table covering!

The thing that really makes a good cookery book is the addition of really nice photographs, so you can see what you are aiming for. This book is nicely presented, with lots of photographs, good descriptions of how to make the recipe and even more helpfully, the ingredients listed in a separate colour. This makes is easy to see them quickly as you juggle the baby, write your shopping list and discipline the toddler. If you have kids I think it would be a really valuable addition to your cookery book collection. You can find out more here.

Review; Annabel Karmel Top 100 Finger Foods

Playground Exchanges

A few weeks ago, before all the rushing around, we had a little trip to the playground. It was there that I encountered a new variety of man, whom I have not met before. I shall have to call him Paranoid Dad.

Toddler boy was rushing about as usual, I was galloping around behind him with the buggy. I cant let him have too much freedom, as he is only two. Anyhow, Toddler boy climbed aboard the ship climbing frame. Paranoid Dad's two kids were all ready aboard. The kids, although older than toddler boy were wary of going down the slide and other such things. Toddler boy did his best to show them. I felt obliged to comment. Soon we entered into a conversation;

Paranoid Dad; "Did you see that man behind the hedge with the camera? The one with the beard and the anorak?" As this is the usual attire for middle-aged men in Verulamium Park, it was quite hard to decide which one he was talking about. So I mentally imagined a cross between the man who lives next door and the man who lives opposite (whom I'm suspicious of).

Me; "No, I was watching this little monster." I love a bit of gossip.

Paranoid Dad "Well, I've just been over and had a word, as he was clearly taking pictures of the playground."

Me; "Ah! Well I'm told its a common problem these days". There's nothing like winding someone up.

Paranoid Dad; " He said he was talking pictures as he was looking for locations for a film". Sounded perfectly reasonable to me, as St Albans is quite well known as a film location.

Paranoid Dad; " I told him where to go in no uncertain terms, he gave me a mouthful of abuse, but I think he has gone. What a cheek! Taking pictures of my children"

Me; "You can never be too careful these days" (Smirk)

And with that exchange finished, I dragged toddler boy away kicking and screaming. As I walked past the hedge I looked over it, all I could see was a white tissue blowing gently towards to lake.

Playground Exchanges

Fireman Sam on a Mission

This is a realistic enactment of 'when Fireman Sam went to deal with the fire in our playpen', a popular episode amongst the under three year olds. Except, this Fireman Sam is using the drum as his breathing equipment/ helmet and he has a half plaster- cast on his broken foot. Note he has also provided his sister with breathing apparatus. Still, its the effort that counts...

Fireman Sam on a Mission

Sleep Again- This Time in Association with Pampers

Sleep has been in increasingly short supply recently, with baby Fifi waking up three times in the night for milk at 6 and a half months old, and Toddler boy waking at dawn for a full day of Fireman Sam viewing. Sleep is normally in association with Pampers as we tend to use their nappies. However, it's amazing what a difference to everybody's quality of life a few hours extra per night makes. So it really is worth trying to get sleep issues sorted as soon as possible.

Last week, my Guardian Angel looked down at me struggling and instructed PR queen Kim Hong of Fleishman Hillard to send me Pampers Golden Sleep Kit. Yey! More Pampers related Sleep stuff. This pack, had lots of bits and bobs including a really lovely little Taggie blanket which Fifi loves and the most invaluable sleep guide I have read. This is mainly because it is short and to the point. According to the guide it seems that I have been rewarding Fifi for waking up by giving her milk. A plan of action for us then!

If you fancy getting hold of one of these little kits you can fill out a quick survey here to be entered into the competition.

Pampers are also offering people the chance to get on board the Golden Sleep Train where you can get lots more advice and help if you are having the same issues as us.

Its at;
Westfield Shoppping Centre; 7-9th August
The Trafford Centre; 14- 16th August
Silverburn Centre; 21st and 23rd August

Sleep Again- This Time in Association with Pampers

Get a Move on Bob! And Other Mysteries

Bob the Builder quite often has a builders bottom. Its realistic like that. But, why is it, that Bob the Builder, never, ever sucks his breath back in and says ' its gonna cost ya luv'?
Fireman Sam has a realistic pole, but why, why does his mate Elvis insist on breaking into song, without all his friends/ colleagues lamping him one?
Why do different children turn up at the Balamory Nursery every day? Where do they come from?
Postman Pat has a delivery van, when did he get his pilots license and why does he need a helicopter to complete the deliveries on his round?
Why is Granny Murray called that when she is clearly a childminder and too young to be a grandmother?
I could go on...

Get a Move on Bob! And Other Mysteries

Thank-you MAM; Teether Review

Fifi is teething, I've been putting gel on her gums and getting through teething powders like there is no tomorrow. MAM contacted me and asked me if I would mind reviewing a selection of their teethers. I jumped at the chance, as rather fortuitously, Fifi is rather keen on her MAM dummy. I bought the dummy because I liked the pattern and it looked nicer than the Tommee Tippee dummies that Toddler boy was keen on.

Its taken me a little while to write this review, as I got sent 4 teethers and I wanted to give them a good go, so here's a little mini review of each. MAM products are very reasonably priced for what they are and their design is cool and funky, rather than being too babyish. This is a bonus for me.

The Bite and Brush Teether; suitable from 3 months

This is without doubt Fifi's favourite teether, it has a little toothbrush built in. That's good, cleaning the gums is a good thing at her age. Toddler boy had his own little rubber toothbrush thing, but with this teether its built in, an ingenious idea. Fifi seems to like holding onto this, its the right sort of shape for her little hands and fits quite well into her mouth. I would buy another one of these.

The Starter and Clip Teether; suitable from birth

When the teethers came, this was my favourite one. I'm keen on things that can be clipped on, as I seem to go around St Albans losing dummies and teethers like there is no tomorrow. I also think that the elephant raised pattern is the cutest design ever. However, the teether is simply too big for Fifi to hold and put into her mouth. I spoke to another mum at baby massage class who has a similar teether, and she said that she felt that it should be the size of the circle that forms the hole in the middle, I tend to agree. Her little boy was chewing the clip part of the the teether. I thought he might get his tongue stuck in it, but didn't think I should say anything!

The Twister; suitable for 6 months plus

I really liked the colours and design of this and its more like a toy. At just over 6 months though, Fifi shows very little interest in it. However, I think as she gets older she will really like this as it has become very sought after by her two year old brother. I think this would probably be quite a good buy for the older baby. It has a brilliant rattle in the middle and 7 different teething textures, which sort of rotate around the middle. Making it really three dimensional. At under five pounds to buy its a real bargain.

The Cooler Teether; suitable from 4 months

I actually used this teether with Toddler boy, he loved it. Fifi is less enamoured. However, the beauty of this teether is that it is ideally shaped to put teething gel onto it and then onto the gums without getting your hands all sticky. It's a good shape and I would say that it is a really good buy. I have recommended it to a lot of my friends as its so multifunctional for what it is and reasonably priced.

You can find out more scientific stuff and buy the teethers here

Thank you MAM!

Thank-you MAM; Teether Review

And then I cried, a lot

I was quite hard on toddler boy following my trip back to the hospital where I was told that there was categorically nothing wrong with his foot. I tried to make him walk, I put him on the naughty step and I put his food, just out of reach, so he had to walk there. Hubby came home and Toddler boy went back to the naughty step, basically until he would walk. He didn't and I told the hubby to relent and let him have his dinner. Feeling absolutely browned off with it all, I went to bed.

The background to this is that Toddler boy is incredibly strong willed, from 3 weeks old he has held his breath and passed out. It is now a behavioural thing and although it frightens me I can deal with it. It does, however, mean that he can manipulate me in a very powerful way. This week, following the experts advice I really began to feel that I was being manipulated in yet another way.

Anyhow, Toddler boy steadfastly refused to walk, so we decided that hubby could try the hospital one more time. As luck would have it the consultant paediatrician happened to be sitting at the nurses station twiddling his thumbs. He took the case on. After some discussion, it appeared that it is very common for toddlers to be able to walk on fractures. Toddler boy was sent for an x- ray. Yes, the double hard boy actually has 3 fractured metatarsals. Like Roy Keene, Stuart Pearce and Beckham before him, who all managed to play football with similar injuries. He has simply not been extreme enough in his complaining. His foot is now in plaster.

I feel a mixture of emotions; relieved that the little fella wasn't mucking me about in a really extreme way. But overall, I feel terrible guilt. I feel like the worlds most wicked woman, like a terrible mother. I hope he forgives me. Yet again, I have found, at his expense that you simply cannot trust a word that a doctor says.

And then I cried, a lot