Look! Just get it; I AM NOT PREGNANT

This dark period of children’s sickness has taken its toll on my body. That and Fifi waking at 5 AM necessitating a cup of tea and a biscuit. The lack of time and inclination to run has left me with what can only be described as my own personal rubber ring. Yes, I am a little ashamed of this, so I have been taking full advantage of this summers fashion trend of A line and empire style tops and tunics. And. What a mistake this has been. Yes, readers it has been suggested to me on a couple of occasions (especially those around the time of the month when my belly swells and stretches to epic water retention ballooness) that I am in fact pregnant. NO I AM NOT. I THINK I WOULD KNOW IF I WAS.

It came to a bit of a head this weekend, when a family member put their hand on my tummy and asked when it was due. Sob. I smiled sweetly and corrected them. Lets be clear here, I don’t think I am what could be classed as a fat girl, I am a size 12 (although the mother in law did buy me some big fat mumsy size 14 knickers for Christmas which went straight back). So what I cannot understand is why everyone feels the need to comment on my weight. It’s just as well that I am not at a stage of having issues about not getting pregnant or these wandering hands (of which there seems to be far more than when I actually was pregnant) might actually get soaked by floods of tears. As it is, I am tempted to chop them off.

This has got me thinking though, I mean, if I had issues over my weight this would be very damaging behaviour towards me. I realise that I used to have a flat tummy, but to get it and keep it required a hundred sit-ups morning and night and the addition of a three mile run. I don’t care what anyone says, with two under four year olds this is not practical. However, the sudden need for everyone to comment about my mummy tummy is frankly odd. When does it stop? If I had put on 4 stone in weight would random people start pitying me? Why is it that when I was pregnant not a single person put their hand on my tummy without asking, but now that I am fat it is acceptable. Now I am a mum, have I become fair game?

I’m thinking on the topic of tactful revenge…


8 Responses

  1. H 27th July 2010 / 7:57 am

    My mother-in-law buys me knickers every Christmas…WHY??!!!! They are generally from the practical and unflattering dept in M&S and go straight in the bin. Ignore people and their unhelpful comments…I'm now 7mths pregnant and it seems everyone and their dog has an opinion on my size. Brilliant article by Viv Groskop in the Guardian this weekend and people and their comments…you'

  2. TheMadHouse 27th July 2010 / 8:20 am

    I feel your pain, I really do. Since the mastectimy and my illness my tummy and the amount of times I get asked when I am due is terrible. I just say nothing now!

  3. Metropolitan Mum 27th July 2010 / 11:33 am

    I have seen you recently, and I can assure you – you don&#39;t look fat. Just stay away from these empire style tops, they make EVERYBODY look pregnant. <br />And for the uninvited tummy-touching: a kick against the shin might be appropriate. I mean, WTF??!! Pregnant or not, it&#39;s just rude to touch anybody without being invited.

  4. mummyfiles 27th July 2010 / 6:33 pm

    Some people are just plain rude. I was at the pharmacy today and the lady looked at me and said &quot;oh you don&#39;t have to pay for your prescriptions, do you?&quot;. Er yes I do, I&#39;m fat not pregnant!

  5. Spencer Park 27th July 2010 / 6:35 pm

    You&#39;re not fat and that&#39;s a fact!

  6. Kat 27th July 2010 / 10:07 pm


  7. Elsie Button 28th July 2010 / 11:54 am

    i am so with you on this one – i too with two under four year olds perhaps don&#39;t have the tummy that i used to have, but people do comment on it now! i agree, why???

  8. Malak 28th July 2010 / 2:34 pm

    Weirdly when I saw you the other day I was thinking how well you looked, figure an&#39; all…

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