Then you get a diagnosis…

I’ve been a bit quiet recently, I haven’t really felt the urge to blog much other than keeping up with reviews (all of which I am very grateful for). Last week we took Toddler boy back for his fairly regular speech therapy sessions. It was a different therapist and a different diagnosis. This woman seemed much more on the ball. The other speech therapist had wanted to discharge us and I had insisted she didn’t, but that she saw us one more time. The one more time turned out to be with a different therapist and thank god it was. This therapist listened to our concerns and to toddler boy speak. She told us basically what we thought all along, that there is a problem. It seems that my gorgeous boy has a condition called Vocal Dyspraxia. The diagnosis goes a long way to explaining some of his little eccentricities. We don’t yet know the degree to which he suffers from it.

I sat in the room and felt shocked to my very core. I still do. It’s strange, even when you know that something is wrong, it’s hard to accept it. I feel concerned about the impact that this will have on his life, our lives and Fifi. It seems like we are in for the long haul with regular speech therapy sessions and lots of tasks to do at home. Although toddler boy will not get a statement, he will require careful management at school in order to prevent him from being bullied, frustrated and so forth. This wasn’t something I signed up for when I became pregnant, I am fully aware that it’s not about me, but a small part of me resents that he has it. I keep telling myself that he was gifted to us because we are the best people to deal with it and help him. It’s still upsetting.

I keep wondering if it was my fault, if stress in pregnancy caused it. If I had managed his breath-holding differently then he wouldn’t have it. No one knows what causes Vocal Dyspraxia, so who knows? It’s amazing how quickly you need to become an expert. Three weeks ago I had never even heard of the condition, now I’m going on Amazon buying books, trying to learn a bit more about what to do, how to help and exactly what it is, just so I can question and check that he is receiving the best possible treatment. I don’t trust the NHS.

I look at my handsome, sweet, funny boy and love him more than ever. This is the strange thing with something like this, you realise how precious they are and what a gift children are. I just hope I am a good enough mother to help him through this; to teach him how to speak properly literally from scratch and to help him overcome all the other difficulties that come with this condition. I also hope that I can somehow make sure that the additional help I have to give him does not impact on the time that I can give Fifi. I am tempted to give up work.


6 Responses

  1. Spencer 28th July 2010 / 5:17 pm

    Zooarchaeologist – This brought a tear to my eye. If you look back at my posts you will see that my daughter had the same problem (I think it was the post entitled a dilema). She only knew 6 of the required sounds when starting school. I'm ashamed to say the ex-wife and I (and the ex is a doctor) never realised until the little boy came along. We understood perfectly what she was saying. She

  2. Kat 28th July 2010 / 8:18 pm

    My dear, you are already doing your best to help him and your determination has brought you to this point. You have the resources to guide him through this and support him completely. I hope you are both doing as well as you can be x

  3. Sandy Calico 28th July 2010 / 9:22 pm

    Of course you're a good enough mother. We all do what it takes for our children. Fingers crossed for a mild final diagnosis x

  4. TheMadHouse 29th July 2010 / 10:02 am

    Oh my, the first positive is that it has a name and it is something that you can work on. It isnt going to be easy, but together you can all do this. Second thing, it isnt down to you, I understand the second guessing and blaming yourself. Take a deep breath and remember this is what makes our children unique

  5. Aussie Mum 29th July 2010 / 11:30 am

    Oh my isn't life full of challenges. However it is so important to get the right diagnosis and great that you have been persistant enought to get this early on. You are already working with a speech pathologist and early intervention can make all the difference. Take care and try not to worry too much – both Toddler boy and Fifi are incredibly resilient and determined little treasures

  6. Amy 30th July 2010 / 4:29 pm

    We are having speech therapy for our 2year old and i know how hard it is going throught it all. I hope he continues to get all the help needed. You are a great mum xxx

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