Fifi’s Book of Manners

Toddler boy has been rude to his best friend today and has gone to playgroup. Lets go and pick him up.

You’ll need to cross vomit valley and the sneezing snot supermarket first.

At Vomit Valley Fifi spots a small child who looks very pale. ‘Don’t go near them’ her mummy whispers and takes her firmly by her hand

‘Thank you mummy, that’s good advice’ says Fifi

Then Fifi’s mummy spots a child vomiting just behind where they are currently sitting on a picnic blanket.

B*llocks thinks Fifi’s mummy

‘No worries, it happens to everyone’ Fifi’s mummy tells the childs mother.

Fifi and her mummy leave vomit valley and go to sneezing snot supermarket.

Fifi spots a man sneezing without covering his mouth.

Fifi’s mummy shoots the man an evil look.

Fifi says ‘hello‘ and attracts the man over to comment how beautiful she is. Fifi’s mummy makes excuses about needing to buy eggs.

At the checkout Fifi’s mummy loads all the shopping onto the conveyor belt. Then realises the checkout girl has the plague, sorry, a really bad cold. She is careful to swear under her breath.

The checkout girl sneezes into her hand, then stops to pull a tissue out of her pocket to wipe her hand. Fifi’s mummy does not walk out but valiantly continues, smiling forcibly. She pays one hundred and twenty pounds for the shopping and considers leaving it in the car park.

Fifi and mummy go to Toddler Boys Playgroup and pick him up. He insists that he plays with his best friend later in the afternoon as he feel very sorry for his rudeness.

Fifi and mummy hope that they haven’t got any germs and are pleased that they have been taught manners. It crosses mummys mind that manners are not necessarily the best thing to learn in September germ time.


3 Responses

  1. TheMadHouse 10th September 2010 / 8:42 am

    Good manners Fifi, bit I nearly fainted at the £120 shopping bill!

  2. Whimsical Wife 10th September 2010 / 9:52 am

    Manners and germ avoidance never mix – it pays to be rude 😉

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