As you may have gathered I really do try my hardest to be a good mother. I buy them tons of books, spend hours reading to them and playing with them. We do craft activities, cooking, go to loads of places. However, to be quite honest I am generally met with a total lack of interest. My craft activities which seem to take others hours take me five minutes to undertake with them and thirty minutes of planning. Neither of them can colour things in with any even small level of thought or accuracy. Neither of them can begin to write their names or even want to try. There is no interest in counting games. My choice of books is always wrong. They don’t wish to play tea parties, cars, Megablocks or those sort of things. They want to dress up and then roll around the floor in a scrum, or pull the sofa apart. I take them places, they complain and say they want to watch the television or a film. I try to garden, they want to dig a big hole in the middle of the lawn in order to find worms to throw at me.
All of this would probably be fine if I lived somewhere where people just plonked their kids in front of the television all day and didn’t speak to them. I don’t though and my parenting skills are scrutinised at every turn. Its tough, when my kids are determined to run around Pizza Express other peoples children of the same age seem happy to sit still and discuss the merits of organic as opposed to non organic food. I spend most of my life feeling harassed and I need of a break.
The speech therapy for Toddler Boy is proving an enormous challenge, he’s not interested, cant be bothered and when he can’t do something straight away he gives up. I have started to worry a lot about this, it wakes me up at night. If he is finding this a challenge, what happens at school? He doesn’t have the patience and attention span or attention to detail which would be helpful to him in a school situation. He is going to find learning to read and write a real challenge if he cant speak properly. Fifi copies many of these behaviours, this is all quite alien and a challenge to me, as someone who (still) just wants to learn, quietly and calmly, as opposed to in this sort of rough and tumble boisterous way.
I must admit that at the moment I think I am failing them. I am trying, but it seems that my best is not good enough to motivate them into behaving appropriately and developing and learning. I think that I must be going wrong somewhere, I just need to work out where.