Of Boys and Girls


As someone who has a sister, there is something alien to me in our household my daughter has a brother and my son has a sister. The dynamics are different. What’s more, my son has a best friend who is a girl.

This has lead to all sorts of weird scenarios, for example Fifi insists on trying to learn to wee standing up at the toilet.There is an awful lot of rough and tumble, which I know would not happen in an all female environment, not a bit of girly jostling; full on punch ups. There is also a lot of dressing up, quite often this means that the girls wear the superhero costumes and the boys wear the dresses. We have a brilliantly, vast range of toys which I think enhances the play opportunities for everyone. I have also been complimented several times on Fifi’s trousers, they are her brothers hand-me downs. I suppose this is a fashion advantage that you would only get from having a big brother!

However, recently with best friend (girl) turning four we have a new dynamic, you see, she is getting a lot less tolerant of boys. However, Toddler Boy is well trained in the ways of girls and very obedient. Thus, she can manipulate him into role playing where she is the boss and he just sort of, well, has to sit there. Often for a long time. Both myself and best friend (girl)s mum have spoken to Toddler Boy about this, but he is insistent that he must do as he is told. Fifi has begun to turn all of this to her advantage and has started using her girl cunning to manipulate Toddler Boy in similar ways and it is rapidly becoming apparent that she is the boss of the two of them. Albeit several inches smaller. I am really looking forward to the next year to see how their personalities change and how they interact with each other as it’s lovely to see all this group dynamics acted out.

I’m currently reading Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine. I haven’t finished it yet, so I can’t comment too much, suffice to say that I think she has something interesting to say about the differences between the sexes. It’s a witty book and I have to agree with her theory that gender roles are determined by society rather than genes. It will be interesting to see how the gender dynamics in our house pan out. I would like to think that I do not force stereotypes upon them, however I think perhaps by the very nature of the way that they behave I re-inforce them.
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2 Responses

  1. Mark 7th October 2010 / 10:13 pm

    We have three boys – so no such problems.<br /><br />But then I&#39;m sure it reinforces male behaviour in its way – certainly Jane would say so… &#39;You&#39;re disgusting all you farty men…!&#39;

  2. Rachael 9th October 2010 / 9:41 pm

    Ooh, as a mother of three boys and one girl I think I&#39;ll have to read that. Interestingly (well, to me, anyway!) despite having three of them, I still don&#39;t think of myself as a boy-mother. I think the book will be fascinating. Off to have a look on Amazon!

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