The Invisible Third

Boy was what I consider a miracle baby, he took such a long time to conceive I never thought I would get a baby. Fifi was a gift, heaven sent, a much easier baby overall and a girl. When I thought about kids I only ever thought of two; a boy and a girl. That was before I actually had them and the hormones kicked in.

I love my children. My children drive me mad, I mean totally bonkers, around the bend and through the spiral and back again. I can honestly say that I am a woman on the edge from the moment Cbeebies or Milkshake comes on in the mornings, through the endless demands to build Lego or feed the dolly, right the way until the husband comes home from work. Sometimes I lock myself in the toilet and spend a bit longer than necessary, just for a bit of peace. Work seems a doddle.

Why is it then, that I have spent essentially the last 21 months craving a third baby? It makes no sense, I look at my two little ones holding hands and I think ‘aw, how sweet’ and then I imagine another little one. When I wake up in the mornings I think how lovely another baby would be, when I go to bed I think, well that’s another day further away from another baby. I cant think straight, but I can think of baby names.

Invisible third baby syndrome is not a good thing for clutter, I have hoarded all the baby stuff. Just in case. I keep thinking I should get rid of it, be done with it. Then I think that perhaps I will hold onto it for just a little bit longer. The rational side of me wants to get rid of it, the emotional side keeps it.

Life is a leap into the unknown and that is what a third baby would be for us. We come from 2 children families, we don’t know the dynamics. I was very unwell with terrible SPD when I had both children, I still haven’t fully recovered. I spent most of my time tired, and I’m rushed off my feet. Having babies is dangerous, I don’t want to leave the two I already have. We have a boy and a girl, we don’t need another. Its hard to explain, but I don’t feel fulfilled, I cant enjoy my children without thinking about the potential of another. I wonder about getting a cat. Maybe that’s the answer.


10 Responses

  1. Chrissie 6th January 2011 / 8:45 am

    or a dog! Joking aside, you have the space and you're young enough so what are you waiting for?

  2. MummyWhisperer 6th January 2011 / 9:00 am

    If I was younger, and my body wasn&#39;t knackered, I&#39;d be with you totally. I&#39;d love another.<br />But I agree, that I would worry about the dynamics – I have 3 brothers all of similar age, and then me 20yrs later, so I could see that it&#39;s tricky.<br />You have all the stuff, they don&#39;t cost much to feed, you can get washable nappies ….. oh no, I&#39;m encouraging you, because

  3. cartside 6th January 2011 / 9:37 am

    Oh I hear you. I&#39;m so incredibly broody even now, while baby is only 3 months, and it doesn&#39;t help that hubby would be up for it. Reason tells me no no no no no.<br /><br />I too had a rubbish pregnancy, I feel I&#39;m getting too old and a third would mean probably more worry than I can deal with.

  4. Muddling Along Mummy 6th January 2011 / 12:39 pm

    I&#39;d always thought that we would have three – it just was where I thought our family would be.<br /><br />After my horrid pregnancy with Littler and realising that I was running out of time (I come from a family with early menopause) I thought perhaps I&#39;d moved on but yet I find myself unable to get rid of clothes Littler has grown out of or even the baby toys so I guess its still

  5. tistylee 6th January 2011 / 1:07 pm

    it&#39;s totally normal to want more… definitely pros and cons to having them… why not just let God decide? play without a cup and see what happens… 🙂 LUCK!! ttfn.

  6. Juicytots 6th January 2011 / 4:15 pm

    Omg! did I write this? I actually did have the third and I always bore in mind what a friend of mine said, &quot;you won&#39;t regret having a baby but you may regret not having one&quot; not to say I didn&#39;t ponder it for a long time. Youngest is 4 now and I&#39;m glad we were lucky enough to have her, she has made our family complete.

  7. Jo 7th January 2011 / 9:39 pm

    Three is great. Hard work but great none the less. My fears are about when they are older. How will we afford to feed them, clothe them, have space for all of them? But I know it will just happen and will be fine. We will manage somehow. So go for a third and enjoy it.

  8. PantsWithNames 7th January 2011 / 10:52 pm

    I always had an invisible third, and then he became a real life one and I&#39;m loving every second with him. <br /><br />That probably isn&#39;t a helpful comment! Sorry!

  9. Anonymous 10th January 2011 / 4:03 pm

    Three is a lovely number and will offer a great new dynamic to your family. I am one of three kids, and it was great growing up with someone always around to play with. Just picture your family in 10 years time …. what do you see, 2 or 3 kids? Yes, 3 isn&#39;t so practical but i&#39;ve heard the biggest jump is from 1 to 2 kids – after that it gets easier!<br /><br />Paula<br />http://

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