It’s like when everyone else is going to Paris…

So the paediatrician gave me a booklet. It’s all about sources of help, advice and general information about what to do if your child is on the autistic spectrum. I needed to read it straight away. I put Cbeebies on the television and sat and read it, the odd tear dripping down my cheeks. The Paediatrician isn’t sure, he wouldn’t co-operate with the tests (which is a test in itself), it seems Boy might be low level autistic in certain areas. Either that or he is a ‘quirky child’. Children are all different, we are all different. I want my child to conform. I don’t want him to be different. I just want normality.

The Verbal Dyspraxia diagnosis was quite earth shattering for me and this is something that I have been considering for a while. It certainly explains the stresses and strains in our relationship and why without fail, I find him the most difficult child I have ever looked after. This tentative diagnosis comes as no shock to me. Yet I am shocked, I have mixed feelings and emotions about it. I worry about his future, I’ve always done this though. I worry about my ability to cope.

The book had a useful analogy it sums up my thoughts perfectly; its like when everyone is going to Paris and you think you are going to Paris. But you find yourself going to Amsterdam instead…


12 Responses

  1. Dan 25th February 2011 / 8:14 am

    There aren&#39;t many things people can say to news like that.<br /><br />Friends of ours were told the same thing recently. They were shocked, and went through a grieving process of sorts. But ultimately they said that their son was still exactly the same person he was the day before they walked into the Dr&#39;s office.<br /><br />So saying &quot;sorry about the news&quot; is misplaced – as

  2. Alex 25th February 2011 / 8:29 am

    and Amsterdam is a beautiful city in itself. I just don&#39;t know what to think and am terrible at expressing myself at the best of times 🙁

  3. Marylin 25th February 2011 / 9:36 am

    *hugs* I&#39;ve been where you are now. It&#39;s HARD being told that your beautiful little boy could have autism. That although you know really there&#39;s something you can&#39;t quite put your finger on, it could be something as big as the A word. <br /><br />Your beautiful boy will always be the same, regardless of the label he may or may not be given. What may present in one autistic child

  4. Aussie Mum 25th February 2011 / 10:51 am

    Autism is such a scary word but people jump to all sorts of conclusions when they hear it. One of my nephews in on the &quot;spectrum&quot; and his mum (who is an OT) did incredible work with him when he was young which has made a huge difference. <br /><br />While it isn&#39;t all smooth sailing, early diagnosis and appropriate therapy can make a big difference. <br /><br />Good luck and I hope

  5. Mrs C 25th February 2011 / 12:31 pm

    I really am totally unsure how to respond to this apart from to send hugs. <br /><br />I am someone who has always been &quot;different&quot; and I have to admit that I am scared that LMC might be too. It does at least sound like you are getting help and it is good that this is happening so early on. I have a friend whose daughter is 10 years old and for years that have been trying to have her

  6. Muddling Along 25th February 2011 / 1:21 pm

    The Paris / Amsterdam analogy is interesting, its not that Amsterdam is necessarily bad but its not where you wanted to be and you need to grieve for not being there<br /><br />That said you do know have a process started and information coming in and hopefully the right support coming in to help you<br /><br />Wish I could do more than just send a wildly inadequate hug

  7. Mark 25th February 2011 / 5:01 pm

    Best wished to you at what is clearly a tough time. <br /><br />It must be tempting to want answers, and to want them now – I know I would. But I suspect that waiting is going to be extremely important, if also extremely difficult.<br /><br />Take care.

  8. Fiz 25th February 2011 / 9:44 pm

    Claire, I&#39;ve been reading your husband&#39;s blog and the use for your boy&#39;s choice of language is expressive and I find it hard to believe that Boy has autism. Did much of the book ring true to you? I found out my daughter had ADHD from a newspaper my then neighbour showed me and then had to fight to get her seen by a child psychologist. Some people claim ADHD is also on the autism scale

  9. Kat - Housewife Confidential 27th February 2011 / 4:53 pm

    I have every confidence in the two of you as parents. Knowing what to expect will equip you with the resources you need to support your wonderful son.<br /><br />That analogy is very useful to remember when you feel like what is happening is not what you expected. Not wrong, just different.<br /><br />Afterall, there are tulips in Amsterdam. There are even Rembrandts.<br /><br />K xx

  10. TheMadHouse 27th February 2011 / 6:03 pm

    Having met your beautiful children, the one thing I can say is that you are great parents and that children throw lots of things at us all the time. A wise woman once said to me there are only so many tears you can shed over a childs lifetime and that sometimes are harder than others, but it means that other times will be much easier. Sending you all our love

  11. Metropolitan Mum 1st March 2011 / 1:18 pm

    I am so sorry to hear that!! I know that you will cope, that you will find a way to going to Paris. Or to making Amsterdam the new Paris. Lots of love, Deborah

  12. Michelle Twin Mum 6th March 2011 / 12:57 am

    Bit late to read this but just wanted to say I am thinking of you all. Take the advice and do the reading but trust your instincs too. Fight for what you feel is right for your little man and your family.<br /><br />We are just going through diagnosis at the moment for my 7 year old.<br /><br />Mich x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *