Where did all the fun go?

A few weeks ago I noticed a conversation between a couple of people I follow on Twitter. They were moaning the fact that they hadn’t been out in the evening for a couple of weeks. I racked my brains, the last time I went out in the evening (with the exception of attending a parent forum thing, a work do and a one evening parenting course) was May 6th. Yes, that’s right a good five months ago. The night I finally fell in that I might actually be pregnant.

Since then life has literally been a whirl of working, answering emails, doing DIY, cooking, attending to children, stressing about finances and my job and doing the housework. I think we may have watched some television whilst we were doing this. The hubby probably hasn’t even noticed, he has been to the pub with friends, been to see the Belgium Grand Prix and quite a few blogging events. I wonder if we have started leading separate lives. I’m not bitter about this, I’m happy that he is doing stuff and enjoying himself.

The thing is, and I am not trying to make people feel sorry for me, is that I do wonder where all the fun went. I cant honestly remember laughing unconditionally, feeling free, letting go, having fun. I cant remember going out with my husband and not worrying about something. I realise that we will never be able to go out and have a meal without looking at the prices on the menu and worrying whether we can afford it, or wondering if the children are alright. But why does it seem that everyone else can do this? I’m sure some of it is symptomatic of where we live and probably of my age, but I cant help wonder. Am I on the brink of a mid-life crisis? What happened to all the fun, did I use up my quota?


11 Responses

  1. Sally 26th October 2011 / 12:47 pm

    Fab post. This is the kind of thing I think about a lot – over the past few years, I&#39;ve been through lots of things that make me wonder when life got to be such hard work. <br /><br />But I have a little motto – well, I nicked it from Dr Seuss… &quot;It&#39;s fun to have fun, but you have to know how.&quot; <br /><br />What I take this to mean is that you have to actively look for fun in

  2. liveotherwise 26th October 2011 / 12:50 pm

    Haven&#39;t been out with just dp in years. Literally, years. Smallest is always with one or both of us, evenings out I&#39;ve had, all blog related, are with her in tow. And I stare into the future when bump is a babe and think the next few years are going to be much the same. In about four years time Big will be old enough to babysit and we might get an evening out. Feel for you.

  3. Alex 26th October 2011 / 1:30 pm


  4. Mrs C 26th October 2011 / 1:52 pm

    I&#39;ve been sat here looking at your post for ages now and I&#39;m just not sure what to say. I share many of your feelings about fun – or the lack of it.<br /><br />We&#39;re lucky in that we have family close by to babysit, but since my birthday in July the only time Mr C and I have been out together has been to work functions. It seems he can organise for plenty of nights out for him (

  5. Kat - Housewife Confidential 26th October 2011 / 1:57 pm

    I feel for you Claire. Mr Kat and I have been out alone, as a couple a grand total of twice since becomming parents in 2007. To be honest though, I&#39;m not so bothered by it.<br /><br />I do go out for a curry with my buddies every couple of months which I love. It&#39;s not expensive and it takes one of us to jolly the others into a date. I&#39;m with Sally, find ways to have fun and laugh

  6. Deb 26th October 2011 / 2:04 pm

    Have to say I am the opposite of Sally &amp; don&#39;t think about this a lot and I reckon I&#39;m a pretty contented person so maybe not thinking is the key!<br /><br />The Internet is bad for you in the &quot;everyone has a better time&quot; stakes. During my &quot;always pregnant/nursing&quot; years I didn&#39;t have the Internet so didn&#39;t really know what everyone was up to. Course I got

  7. Dean 26th October 2011 / 2:21 pm

    All I can say is your not alone, I think a lot of us as parenst go through this. I know we are, what with two kids and our businesses time for us is very very limited. <br /><br />If im not out teaching S is. I think Sally has hit on something, making fun whenever you get chance. It may not be when you alone or even night out but try doing some of the things you used to do.<br /><br />We managed

  8. PippaD 26th October 2011 / 3:09 pm

    I know what you are saying and I&#39;m not going to give you platitudes or sympathy because I think if I had blogged this I would hate for someone to do that.<br /><br />Instead I am going to tell you that one day you will look back on this time fondly and think Blooming heck I was a multi-tasking whirlwind who made sure her family was fed, water, exercised, taught manners and all whilst working,

  9. Muddling Along 26th October 2011 / 4:02 pm

    Honestly, I don&#39;t think pregnancy helps with a fun outlook and you have so much else going on – be kind to yourself<br /><br />We went through a similar phase of everything being rubbish – in time it has got better but mostly because I now make a massive effort to go out with friends each month, to arrange lunches with families and to ensure that we aren&#39;t just at home as a family trying

  10. It's a Mummys Life 26th October 2011 / 6:47 pm

    It&#39;s easy to lose yourself in being a mummy especially when you&#39;re working too and have any kind of financial stress. My husband and I had moment of realisation when I went back to work recently that we actually rarely saw each other and when we did it was to talk about the kids or argue. We now go out once a week – we do a babysitting exchange thing with our neighbours. Nothing

  11. emalouisethompson 27th October 2011 / 9:59 am

    What a lovely post. I worry about this too and my none mummy friends want to push me to have fun. I find fun with my little girl &amp; one fun night a husband is enough for me.

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