A few weeks ago I noticed a conversation between a couple of people I follow on Twitter. They were moaning the fact that they hadn’t been out in the evening for a couple of weeks. I racked my brains, the last time I went out in the evening (with the exception of attending a parent forum thing, a work do and a one evening parenting course) was May 6th. Yes, that’s right a good five months ago. The night I finally fell in that I might actually be pregnant.
Since then life has literally been a whirl of working, answering emails, doing DIY, cooking, attending to children, stressing about finances and my job and doing the housework. I think we may have watched some television whilst we were doing this. The hubby probably hasn’t even noticed, he has been to the pub with friends, been to see the Belgium Grand Prix and quite a few blogging events. I wonder if we have started leading separate lives. I’m not bitter about this, I’m happy that he is doing stuff and enjoying himself.
The thing is, and I am not trying to make people feel sorry for me, is that I do wonder where all the fun went. I cant honestly remember laughing unconditionally, feeling free, letting go, having fun. I cant remember going out with my husband and not worrying about something. I realise that we will never be able to go out and have a meal without looking at the prices on the menu and worrying whether we can afford it, or wondering if the children are alright. But why does it seem that everyone else can do this? I’m sure some of it is symptomatic of where we live and probably of my age, but I cant help wonder. Am I on the brink of a mid-life crisis? What happened to all the fun, did I use up my quota?