I think I know the answer after this week. You can look after kids with the flu whilst pregnant. You can look after them with a suspected blood clot on your lungs and an infection requiring antibiotics which you have been wandering around with for a month. Thank you doctors. You cant look after them with the above two and winter vomiting bug whilst 37 weeks pregnant. It’s impossible. You cant really get out of bed to be sick any more and once you reach the stage where you don’t even have the energy to actually be sick you know you are in trouble.
So, that’s where responsibility hits home, once I have this baby I shall make sure that I am in tip top 100% fitness so this disaster does not happen again. It’s been a real week of health related upset this week. I do hope the baby is alright. I’m quite surprised as last time I was poorly at this stage of pregnancy I was admitted to the hospital and stayed there for 3 days. I think I am worse this time, by far. The doctors have been very apologetic, apparently they ‘didn’t have my full test results’. I wonder if this is actually the case or just a case of overlooking them/ getting an untrained receptionist to check through them? Who knows, all I know is that I did feel very unwell for a long time and the difficulty is that when you feel unwell for such a long time you begin to think it’s psychological. A sort of laziness and mental weakness.
All I know is that at the moment I really feel like the worlds worst mother. I don’t think the kids have watched so much television and films in a very long time. Craft activities are limited to pretty much none and I cant even manage to tidy their toys properly so they can find the different sets. It’s all become a muddle. The kids have eaten so much junk food I hope it hasn’t affected their health or their mental development. I am guilt ridden. I am unwell. It’s a disaster.