A Nice Apron

This sounds a bit Stepford housewifey and is a little bit of a dirty secret. But I would love to be one of those women that wander about the house wearing a nice apron. I have one which I bought from Icklebabe (Fifi has an adorable matching one). I only wear it for a specific purpose; cooking. I do very little housework, although even that's enough really and I wouldn't sully my lovely apron for that. No, the apron idea is more of a vision, a sort of fashion statement, a sort of additional uniform, an adult comfort blanket.

Even though I have a fab apron I would really like to get one that is more old fashioned, a Victorian one, or maybe a 1930's pinafore, one in 1950's fabric with that cross over style, any excuse to get more really. That way, I could look stylish each day of the week. All this is not beyond my means, I could make one fairly easily, I have the sewing ability (just), but more helpfully I have access to a vast array of Aprons and Pinafores in the museum archives. I should make the effort. Look at the amazing fabric above, it was used for a fantastic pinafore I found today. The skirt section is black fabric and there is a design made from bias binding in the same fabric as the top. Or this beautiful applique velvet flower on this silk one, which I think dates to about 1830.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could buy such aprons today? Or even better if people attempted to make their own like they would have done in the past. I'd love to visit my friends and find them wearing their own creations.

The question is really whether or not I am going down the route of even more embarrassing mother. I don't want the children to disown me at the school gates when I rush out forgetting to remove the apron, or what happens if I open the door wearing a housecoat? Instant loss of street cred. Would the husband enjoy this look? Or would he think I had descended further down the route of bonkersness? It is something that only time will tell...

A Nice Apron

We are Haunted

God, Heaven and all that. Do you believe? I do, (I have two godchildren), but then sometimes I don't, then I have to seek conversations with the curates from our local church. By its very nature, religion is very spiritual and a bit well, spooky I suppose. All sorts of odd thing happen, like babies jumping into Mary's womb (there's a Candlemass reference for you), the angels who came down and took Jesus up to Heaven and the Resurrection. All a bit odd. I am confused by religion generally, I like to believe in the idea of Heaven. But what about ghosts?

I am convinced I saw a ghost or two when I was a child. This is a whole blog post in itself and for another time. When Boy was very small, we went through a phase where he was absolutely convinced he saw a nasty man standing in our living room. I mean more than 30000000% sure, it was very difficult to dissuade him from it and it really put me on edge. It's odd, because I like to think I am quite perceptive and sometimes I wonder what I have seen, or have a very uneasy feeling. I put this down to spending a lot of time working with human bones. I have, you see, seen some very disturbing things during the course of my career. I suspect that these things have had an impact on me mentally.

For instance, I once dug up a cemetery where, some of the bodies were, well, lets say this; a little bit preserved. I have probably dug up or had direct physical contact with more than 700 dead humans. I have seen bodies in all sorts of states of preservation, some embalmed some chopped up. The museum specimen of a sectioned human torso springs to mind. It's interesting work, but mentally, if you mull it over a lot, it can begin to disturb you, just a little bit! I don't think about it, that's the best way.

Anyway, on Saturday I popped around to the shop. The hubby seemed a little bit odd and quiet on my return. I thought nothing of it, he has been struggling with a painful shoulder injury. We are all tired, it's been stressful of late. This morning he told me he was sure he saw a lady walk across the living room. In the exact same spot, as the boy tells me he sees things. When we moved into the house we redecorated and found psalms written on the walls. Would you start to feel worried?

I don't think there is anything malevolent and out of interest some time ago I looked into the history of our house and its land. Basically, our house was built in 1968 on land that had been farmland until that point. Previous to that there was a Pre-Roman Iron Age settlement, this has been excavated and our house sits straddling the boundary to the settlement ditch. Nothing major there, no burials or anything. This is unlike one house locally which I notice has been sold 4 times in the last 7 years. In fact, since we excavated the land and found a stone Roman coffin essentially in their front garden- which remains there.

It's the mid-point of winter at the moment, a mysterious and magical time historically. I am told that children can be very perceptive, that they can attract things, cause energy even become the focal point of poltergeist activity especially when there are moments of stress in the house. This is all weird, but could supernatural things be happening in our house? Or do we all just need some sleep? I'm seriously wondering about getting our house blessed, is this madness?

We are Haunted

Review; Frank and Teddy Make Friends by Louise Yates

Last year we were lucky enough to receive a copy of Dogs Loves Books which is Louise Yates last book. It's a brilliant read and one of our bedtime favourites, so when we got the chance to review her new one I was delighted.

Frank and Teddy Make Friends tells the tale of Professor Frank Mouse a clever inventor who enjoys collecting and mending things, he is very lonely and wants a friend to help. One day he makes teddy, however he isn't very good at sharing and so they fall out.Its then, when he realises the importance of friendship and how wonderful it is to share.

We have been reading this for the past couple of nights to Fifi (Boy wont let us read it to him as he seems to have developed a fear of mice). She is enjoying it, in particular the illustrations which we have to spend a great deal of time looking at and discussing.

I love the way that the story is somehow so innocent but conveys the message directly.The illustrations are wonderful and it's quite an unusual style for this sort of book. Unique and original, me and Fifi love it! You can get a copy here.

Review; Frank and Teddy Make Friends by Louise Yates

Famous Last Words

• The children are in bed asleep early
• I've never had an accident in the car
• The post van always comes before the school run
• My child is best friends with...
• Our (insert whatever) is brilliant, I thoroughly recommend it
• I get on ever so well with my Mother in Law
• Multivitamins have really helped me not to get a cold this year
• That's it for snow this year
• I'm not having any more pets
• Aren't the script writers of Eastenders doing a good job
• Work is going really well at the moment
• We never have any trouble with our neighbours
• I really don't care about (insert word)
• I'm losing weight

Or in the words of J. M. Barrie of Peter Pan fame "I cant sleep"

Famous Last Words

Dealing with Boys

I make no secret of the fact that I have no end of trouble dealing with the boy. It started from birth really with his breath-holding and all that. Recently things have escalated to epic proportions of violence and attitude and it's difficult to know what to do, where to turn or even how to empathise with him. So when I heard about a special parenting course which helps mums to understand and deal with their boys under five, I thought I had better sign up.

One session down and I realise that I am not the only one having issues. I am also filled with interesting facts. Did you know that it takes three weeks for a boy to establish a behaviour whether good or bad? This means that you can mould them, with a little with perseverance. I wonder whether this works on husbands too?

Anyhow, apparently we are to be given a booklet on how to discipline boys. I had a little search of the Internet and I have actually found it here. This booklet runs through 17 techniques to use with boys. These are as simple as actually making sure they hear you by putting your hand on their shoulder and making eye contact when you speak with them. Boys also respond very well to commands, use as few works as possible with them. They like to know where they stand and what they are doing.

One of the things which seems to be working for the school run is simply to get him up and tell him what we are going to be doing throughout the whole day. I don't give him more than two choices, there are no arguments or discussions I don't enter into them. It's still grim, but its better.

Dealing with Boys

All Hands on Deck

The past couple of weeks have been very busy. Probably just as well, or I might well be wallowing in some kind of odd depression regarding the boys behaviour, his speech problems, lack of willing to go to school and the impact that Local Government cuts may well have on my future.

However, some fab things have happened, I got to visit the Sanctuary Spa, thanks to Kelloggs. I also went to see Love Story at the Theatre (more of which to come), but best of all I got to look after my gorgeous little niece for a whole day. She was a joy to look after and made my hormones ache, just a tiny bit.

One of the best things I did was to pay for a personal training session to help kick start my running. The idea was to get some tips on how to warm up and cool down. However, we did get some boxing gloves out and do some boxing. Now, I have to admit I absolutely love boxing, before we had kids me and the husband used to have hours of fun swapping the pads and gloves between each other and imagining people to punch. It strikes me though, that this is the time to resurrect this activity. In fact, all mums need to invest in some gloves and pads (and someone to hold the pads). I helped work out all sorts of angst.

But really, how am I going to find the time for a fitness drive coupled with the constant demands of Fifi who seems to want to bake endless cakes and the boy who now has a penchant for building Duplo spaceships? Things need to change.

It's time for everyone to pull their weight. Yes, the children did help the other day by helping to load the washing machine. The addition of a balloon (yes, you have read that correctly) was like a stroke of genius because it means that I don't need to test that particular brand for safety and long lasting purposes again. However, I need to resurrect 'bob work' for the children. Based on Bob the Builder phrases this generally involves them going about with a duster and picking up their toys. It's totally ineffectual but it keeps them from under my feet. For the husband there are other plans. Mainly involving teaching him how to iron his shirts quickly and efficiently, these will draw upon all of his ninja skills. Perhaps. What do you get your husband to do in terms of helping about the house? Any ideas are welcome here.

All Hands on Deck

Lets All go on a Bear Hunt

Lets All go on a Bear Hunt

Spa Days; the best new baby gift ever? A sponsored post

I have been asked to write a post about spa days, this is no real hardship for me and something that is essential for any mum. Since I have become a mum we have had very little money or time to indulge in Spa experiences, but thanks to this blog I have been lucky enough to test the brand new Spa at the Ocean Hotel in Bognor Regis and also The Sanctuary Spa in Covent Garden. There you go, yet more evidence that it's worth writing a blog!

Day spas on your high street essentially offer the best value for money. However, the best experiences are also to be found in Hotel Spas. Without a shadow of doubt, the best spa I have ever visited has to be the Sequoia Spa at the super posh Grove Hotel in Hertfordshire. The Grove has one of the best Spas in the world, you pay for the experience but it is totally amazing. The swimming pool is also rather wonderful and you never know what footballers you might bump into. Interestingly, it is far superior to the spa at the equivalent standard of hotel;The Vineyard in Stockcross (where we stayed on our honeymoon).

The Sanctuary Spa in London was fab, I liked the swimming pool with a swing and the relaxation areas. However, I have to admit that my experience was slightly sullied by it being the only spa I have ever visited where flip flops were not actually provided! I also didn't find the treatment all that relaxing as the therapist insisted on talking to me the whole time. From this experience, I would suggest you probably need to be quite blatant about not wanting to talk. Central London has quite a few different spas located in various hotels, so it is worth doing your research.

Choosing a treatment at a Spa can be a mind-blowingly confusing experience. Before I was a mum I tended to opt for facials and beauty treatments. However, now I have kids given the choice I think I might actually consider going for a massage to help ease those weary legs, arms, back. You need to be careful though, as sometimes you get talked into buying loads of stuff you don't want. It's also a must to try and experience a salt water pool if you can, just to have the fun of floating about without any effort. You have to maximise those free moments!

Going to a spa is one of those non essential treats, which as a mum you tend to sacrifice for the sake of kids shoes etc. I tend to buy new mums the gift of a treatment at a spa instead of something for their baby. I think it is so essential to try to look after yourself, particularly in those early days. Once you have the children a spa treatment is something that might be worth starting a little savings fund for or asking for as a gift. If only, as a couple of hours of pure indulgence really helps your mental state of mind, helping you deal with the stresses of parenting a lot better.

If you are looking for spa discounts there are plenty of sites to chose from. You might even get a massive bargain, I cant tell you how amazingly cheap my hen do at The Grove was, it ended up being such a bargain that numbers joining me rose from 5 to 15 in the space of a couple of hours!

Spa Days; the best new baby gift ever? A sponsored post

Review: Love Story the Musical

I'm not really a sucker for sad sentimental stuff, and very few films have made me cry; Watership Down, Love Life, Love Story are amongst them. So whatever made me think it was a good idea to see the musical of Love Story is a mystery to me. But I am very glad I did. I loved it.

The pitch was as follows, there is no point in me re-hashing it for you: "Love Story is inspired by Erich Segal’s best-selling iconic novel, also one of the most romantic films of all time. Love Story will win your heart. And it might break it. Michael Ball makes his West End debut as a producer after falling in love with the enchanting new British musical." We were offered a couple of tickets in exchange for an honest review.

Love Story had rave reviews when it was on in Chichester, so I was expecting good things and it didn't disappoint. I loved every minute of it, even the bits which were so sad they had the man in front of me biting his wrist and the lady to my left sobbing into a tissue. I am a hardened soul, but at one point I did sort of have to well, I may as well admit it- bite my lip. Just a little bit.

This is a 90 minute show without an interval. I was amazed how Emma Williams who is playing the role of music student Jenny kept the pace. I had heard that she is a superb musical theatre actress, but I haven't been lucky enough to see her until now. The chemistry between her and Michael Xavier who plays Oliver was perfect, so good it left us wondering whether they were actually a couple in real life.

I really enjoy musical theatre and my CD collection has all the classics. With Howard Goodall and Steven Clark writing the score it was no surprise that the music was superb. The song where they cook the pasta had moments of Gilbert and Sullivan like genius. The rest of the music seemed perfect to convey the appropriate moods and I would happily add a CD of it to my collection.

One of the things I dislike about going to the theatre is the whole Interval thing. I find that you either spent the whole time queuing up for the loo, or wondering if you have enough time to get a drink. So for me, the fact that there is no interval was great. Although probably worth bearing in mind before you sit down. It also meant that we got home at a reasonable time, perfect for a trip during the week!

Love Story is a perfect musical for a romantic date or a girly night out. I came out and thought how much I should appreciate my family, as you never know what might happen next. That was until I came home to the mess; only joking. We had a really enjoyable evening, even if it was a bit sad. You can find the Facebook page here and there's loads more information on the website.

Review: Love Story the Musical

Running Away

For various reasons Boy has decided that he doesn't like school. It's a shame as he was so looking forward to it. I have had the usual stuff; refusing to put on school uniform, kicking and screaming en route and general complaining. However, this morning things went a bit further. I dropped him off and literally gave him to a teacher and then I started to walk back down the path.

Faster than the speed of light a little thing flashed past me. It was a few seconds until I realised that it was actually boy running out of school as fast as he could. This posed a slight issue as I had Fifi in the pushchair. I had to gather my thoughts, then put the brakes on the pushchair and literally sprint after the little fella before he reached the road. Clearly security isn't brilliant at the nursery, but I think it has to be the best display of thoughts about the place from a three and a half year old. And do you know what? To be honest, I really cant blame him...

Running Away

Being a Working Mum: Sponsored Post

Fifi turned two this weekend. That means I have fully joined the ranks of (slightly) experienced working mums. Having been back at work at least part-time for 15 months. It's been a roller coaster of emotions, first I didn't want to go back to work, then I did, then I didn't. Then I was back at work and I just had to get on with it. I have had a few wobbles along the way. It's so hard leaving your child screaming, it's even harder leaving them when you know they wont be alright, well at least for a while anyway. However, going to work is a tricky balance, you have responsibilities to your children, but you also have them to your employers. Ultimately I think that going to work has actually done me a lot of good mentally and financially.

I am lucky, my employers have been very understanding and quite flexible. I also do a job which is very interesting and varied. I can come home with exciting stories to tell my kids, like the other day when I got to hold real dinosaur eggshell whilst behind the scenes at the Natural History Museum in London.

I think that I also benefit from the break from my children. I regain a little bit of space, calm and feel like something else other than just a mother. I cant tell you how good a cup of tea tastes when it is hot.

What do I think you need to consider when you are returning to work?

• Make sure you have your childcare organised and that you are 100% happy with the arrangements.
• Try to make a contingency plan for when the child is sick, otherwise you may find you use your annual leave up very quickly.
• Have a work bag and a baby bag, this will save you loads of time and avoid embarrassing moments like finding dirty nappies in your bag at work.
• Always have a bag of spare clothes packed for the kids.
• Forget any romantic idea of not owning a mobile phone its an essential.
• Take loads of vitamins and then some, you are bound to catch the kids germs and you might not be excused the time off.
• Try to have a positive frame of mind about it, being a mum does not define you!

There are various websites that can help you find part-time work (although I have to admit, you wont find a job like mine on there because there are probably only about 70 in the country) one of these sites is www.workingmums.co.uk I had a good look around the site and there are loads of jobs. However, perhaps more usefully Workingmums.co.uk has some useful careers advice stuff. I did find this quite interesting as I swing between trying to find a slightly different job and keeping my own job. With local Government cuts looming on the horizon I think it is only a matter of time that I end up using this site myself.

Being a Working Mum: Sponsored Post

Girly Birthdays

I love having a little girl, it enables me to indulge my love of everything pink and red and fairy and flowery and pretty and lovely. Unfortunately, I have a feeling my little girl likes mud and dark clothes and football and all the things her brother likes far more at the moment. I do enjoy seeing her wandering about with her pink pram whilst wearing her brothers hand me downs and clutching a robot.

This weekend saw Fifi's second birthday. I have to admit I felt a bit odd about it. She is no longer my little baby, rather a proper little girl who demands to watch Match of the Day with Daddy [insert his name] as she calls him to his annoyance. She likes kicking balls and scrumming with the boys, but she also loves her baby and her wooden cupcakes and her pushchair. I felt a bit sad, she doesn't need me as much anymore, although she does regress at dinner times when she thinks I've finished my dinner and is too lazy to use her fork herself 'feed me, feed me'.

We had a devil of a job deciding what to get her, particularly as the second child she already had access to a lot of toys. In the end we opted for a Talking Dora Doll and a Peppa Pig School Set, this has all the characters from the show with desks and chairs for them to sit on. Both toys proved an instant hit. She also enjoyed a pink cake which was decorated with fairies and toadstalls and a little buffet party with her best friends. I think she enjoyed herself. I did. I cant wait for even more birthdays which I shall ensure are even more girly. I hope she doesn't start protesting!

When asked what she wanted for her birthday she had said 'pasta'. I do hope she was pleasantly surprised.

Girly Birthdays

A really versatile free diet plan ; MySpecialK.co.uk

I'm not all that keen on strict diets, I haven't ever done one. For me, they just don't work. However, I do go through phases where I tend to cook very healthily and I love having recipe ideas etc, so I tend to use diet plans that way.

Last week I was asked by Kelloggs to come along and find out about their website: MySpecialK.co.uk and then go for a spa day at The Sanctuary Spa. What more could a girl like me want, a chance to hear about a website and ask all the geeky questions and meet nutritionists and then, a pampering session entirely free of children. I can tell you I was first in the queue.

I learnt loads of facts about Special K; did you know that it was originally launched in 1959 as a cereal for men and that there are actually ten different varieties of cereals and snacks? Well, neither did I. The website My Special K.co.uk actually doesn't need any marketing from me, since January 80,000 people have signed up and created a personal plan. Impressive or what! I'm not surprised though as unlike some of the other sites its free to join.

I have actually signed myself up, as I quite fancied some of the recipe ideas, especially the 'easy cook' ones. I also liked the fact that it could be tailored to you, whether you were single or feeding a family and whatever your goals are. I have to admit I also loved the idea of being able to create the plan and generate an entire shopping list with Tesco.com. There is a time saving device if I have ever heard of one. There are 10 minute workouts and they also have a fashion partnership with Glamour Magazine. The plan is based in sound nutritional principles, including Volumetrics (more about this in a minute) and its not limited to two weeks. There is even an iPhone app to help you. Did I say this was all FREE.

Volumetrics is an interesting concept, it's basically founded on the principle that people who enjoy their food will always go for more rather than less. Therefore, if you eat foods that have less energy density, you can eat more of them. Simple. It's an idea worth investigating, especially if you enjoy snacking.

If you like food and you have an interest in healthy eating, fitness and (like me) are always keen to learn a bit more it's really worth checking out the site. I have to admit, I was really surprised at how much information there was on there. Even if you don't find anything else for you, the 10 minute fitness videos are quite handy.

A really versatile free diet plan ; MySpecialK.co.uk

Book Review: How Not To Get Fat; The Food Doctor

When I mentioned to my friend I was thinking of reviewing and talking about The Food Doctor's latest book she said 'oh no not that awful woman, the one who isn't even really a nutritionist..." I wonder if this happens to Ian Marber a lot? The Food Doctor is as far as i am aware a proper nutritionist and his advice is based on really sound principles. And anyway, he is responsible for quite a nice range of food in the supermarket, some of which we eat on a regular basis.

If you want a little bit of an idea about the chap and what sorts of diets he suggests, take a look at this video which he created to help people eat healthily and lose weight whilst still (most importantly) enjoying food. At the end there is also a delicious pasta bake recipe.




Back to the book; How not to Get Fat Your Daily Diet, has a really interesting section on the main food groups which tells you how to cook things and provides little snack suggestions. Following each of these there is a recipe for a healthy meal based on that food group. I love a good recipe book and one that provides loads of information about the food is even better. So for me, this was perfect.

What sort of recipes can you expect? Well, we enjoyed (me in particular) the salad of mixed seeds with roasted aubergines and crumbled feta cheese. I love this sort of food, it's precisely what I used to eat pre-kids and perfect for my health and fitness drive. Coming up on the Being a Mummy dinner list are: Tofu and sugar snap pea green curry, fish and baby vegetable stew and broccoli, cauliflower and tomato cheese bake.

For those of you trying to eat healthily I think this is a perfect cookbook. I cant find a dish which doesn't look mouthwatering, really I cant. At the back there are meal plans, to top it all off, but if you are like me and you just need a bit of inspiration in your cooking this is the one for you. You can buy it here, (it wont break the bank either!)

Book Review: How Not To Get Fat; The Food Doctor

Review: Raising Children; The Primary Years by Liat Hughes Joshi

I love a good parenting book, I can read them in a couple of evenings, so when I get asked to review them I am more than happy to say yes. Raising Children; The Primary Years has come at the right time for us as Boy has just started nursery. This means I can read away and find out what I have in store.

I enjoyed reading this book as it seemed to have some sensible advice rather than stuff which I disagreed with. Is that wrong? Its written in a friendly accessible way by parenting journalist Liat Hughes Joshi who also writes for Mother and Baby Magazine and The Telegraph. Contributors include Dr Jemma Rosen-Webb, a clinical psychologist specialising in helping children and families, and Dr Harriet Tenenbaum who has a PhD in child development.

Raising Children is one of those books that you don't need to read from cover to cover. It's divided up into themes. These include a chapter on friendship and bullying, and ones on food, sleep and gadgets amongst others. In each of these areas there is some background information about the problem, with some fascinating research. For example, according to a German study 20- 40 % of 9 year olds had trouble getting to sleep. The book goes on to provide information from a child psychologist and also some really good advice about how to deal with the problem.

This is a book that is going to remain on my bookshelf for a while, joining the ranks of my current bible Toddler Taming. It's printed on nice paper and is nicely presented which makes it easy to read. I loved the idea of providing tips from other mums, I found this especially useful and meant that it is not in the least bit condescending.

I cant comment practically on the advice, because I am not there yet. However, I think that with most issues and problems with children it is useful to have a range of different things to think about. This book provides that and as a result, at least for me, just being able to dip into something like this gives me a bit more confidence in my own decisions. I think its worth a read.

Raising Children is available from www.pearson-books .com and bookshops from 01 January, priced £10.99.

Review: Raising Children; The Primary Years by Liat Hughes Joshi

Review; Your Shape; Fitness Evolved (Part one)

Part of the new fitness for half marathon training regime involves warming up and doing some of the stuff at home as I cant afford the luxury of a gym membership. Not to worry though, as I was kindly given an Xbox Kinect with Your Shape in order to kick start my programme. I shall be tracking some of my progress through the system on the blog but it's all on line for everyone to see. I just need to work out how to enable you all to do that, so that's for another post.

So far, I've done a couple of work outs- well it has been Christmas! I do love it though, it's a great system. You can do everything without any equipment, it tells you how many calories you have burnt, you can see yourself on the screen which spurs you on and you can chart your progress on line. The only issue is that you do need to stand quite a long way away from the television, which for us means I have to move the coffee table out of the way. But that really is my only criticism at the moment.

Your Shape works in a few different ways, you can choose a Personal Trainer session or do some fab gym games. I like both, the personal trainer work outs are great and to be honest for someone totally uncoordinated like me, they have given me a bit of confidence to book some actual real life fitness classes. I like the way they are short and you can pop in and out of them and I can honestly say I have enjoyed them a lot. The image here shows you what your screen looks like- you would stand where the blue person is standing.

The gym games are varied, but its a great encouragement to see the calories you burn. For me though, this means that the boxing game simply has to be done ( it burns the most calories). I could spend hours doing this one if I was fit enough. Frankly, it's just the trick if you have had a stressful day at work. Look at the picture here, wouldn't you like to see yourself smashing those boxes...

I have Wii Fit and EA Sports Interactive on the Wii and I think that this surpasses both of those by a long way. It's just so much more convenient not having to hold a nunchuck or have a Wiimote strapped to your knee. The day after my first personal training session I could feel muscles that I haven't used since having babies, that's always a good sign. I think it has given me the kick start that I needed for my fitness regime. OK, its probably not ideal for hardened athletes, but for slightly plump mums it's great, especially in the dark winter nights.

If you fancy finding out a bit more you can see some more information, including a fab trailer or even buy the game here from Ubisoft.

Review; Your Shape; Fitness Evolved (Part one)

Meetings with Inspirational Mums: Tesco Magazine Mum of the Year Awards

I don't think anyone would disagree with me if I said that having a baby totally changes your life. It takes you in new directions and is a roller coaster of emotions. However, on Monday I was shamed, you see, I got to meet some of the most amazing go getting women and mothers I have ever met. They made my moans and rants pale into total insignificance and each and every woman made me realise that you can make a difference to your lives, others and your community if you really want to. The thing you need to do is to get up, put your energy into a cause and go for it.

I was lucky enough to be asked to attend the Tesco Magazine Mum of the Year Awards photoshoot. It was held in a house in Balham, South London. I have to admit from the outside I did wonder where I had been sent, but as soon as Nicola the Art Director opened the door I can understand why they picked the house. Interior design to aspire to doesn't even half describe it, stunning and the perfect setting for such a special photoshoot.

I met four of the mums; the first Mum I spoke to was Joyce Real Radio Mum of the Year (pictured wearing the green top) who had travelled all the way from a village outside Edinburgh. At the moment she is looking after 3 foster babies and her grandson 4 days of the week. However, so far she has fostered 33 babies many of whom were born with drug and alcohol problems. I was amazed at this, in fact to be honest, I was totally speechless and this is quite a rare thing for me. Joyce felt that she wanted to give something back and that every child is entitled to unconditional love. Children have rights and she is more than happy to fight their corner.

Clearly an Uber mum I wondered if she had any good tips for the likes of you and me. Joyce swears by the calming power of a bubble lamp and wrapping them up tightly. Its worked for all of her foster babies and something I hadn't thought of. This weekend I'm going shopping for one in case it has a nice calming effect on toddlers as well!


Diane Godin Community Mum of the Year from Potters Bar is walking proof that you really can make a difference to your local community. She set up a disabled and special needs charity (the Potters Bar Special Needs Group) which provides outings, play sessions and support for local disabled and special needs families. This something which was lacking in her area and she has made a real difference to peoples lives. She also helps a scout group and football groups. Overcoming breast Cancer, Diane has also run the London marathon to raise money for charity.

Julie Walker from Hull set up the Katie Walker Cancer Trust in memory of her daughter. The charity which has done amazing work including convening a meeting about teenage cancer and providing financial support to families.

I wondered how becoming a mum had changed her attitudes to life, I know it has affected mine. It transpired that Julie who had her daughter at 19 felt that she grew up almost instantly and became a lot more caring. Katie's story is one that you must read and talking to her mother I learnt such an enormous amount about cancer in children which is so often overlooked. I asked her what her message was and I think that it is such an important one, that her answer should be drilled into new parents: "...never give up, always question , never accept the first answer". You can find out more about the Katie Walker Cancer Trust here.

Finally I met Julie Chambers Inspirational Mum of the Year. About to have a baby in just six weeks, Julie had also travelled down from Hull. Julie campaigns tirelessly for organ donation. Her daughter Zoe needed a heart transplant after being born with a congenital heart problem, following a campaign by the Daily Mirror which encouraged 1.2 million people to sign up to the NHS Organ Donor list a heart was found, unfortunately Zoe died aged two and a half, however Julie has continued campaigning. The Facebook page that she set up has provided support for thousands of parents. You can find Julie on Twitter: @moonandochamber

All in all, the photoshoot was a brilliant day. It was great to meet some of the mums and lovely to see them enjoying some well deserved pampering. I understand that they are being taken out for a special day of shopping so they can look their very best for the award ceremony. If any mums deserve it they do. Please take some time to look at the Tesco Magazine Mum of the Year Facebook Page and lend your support.

Meetings with Inspirational Mums: Tesco Magazine Mum of the Year Awards

Just When You Need a Bit of Support

The NCT come along. I can't speak highly enough of our NCT antenatal classes, they were superb in letting you have some small idea of what was coming. However, we had no choice, I would not have joined and gone along if it hadn't been for local NHS cuts which meant that there were no NHS classes on offer. I thought it might be useful and indeed it was. Except for the breastfeeding class where I innocently asked how I was meant to be constantly feeding my baby via the breast and sleep and was told 'you should have thought of that before you had a baby'. I think that put me off breast-feeding before I even had the child!

The one thing though, that was drilled into us was how much support and friendship we would gain from the other mothers on our course. *ollocks the hubby had said to that and described to me what he thought of a lot (not all) of them. I decided to counter his intuition and give it a try.

Each week we would meet with about half the class, a few people had met in the past and decided not to join in. This was fine by me. However, for me it soon became a bit of a comparison session, each week we could discuss what our kids did and didn't do. I felt a bit uncomfortable about this, partly as I have other interests, partly as I was having such a bad time with the boy anyhow I wanted a bit of escape and not to be reminded.

I ticked along for a while, then work started again and so forth. I tried to join in, but they began leaving me out etc. I heard that they felt a bit upset about something I had written here. I didn't ever write about them, but I did write about the local NCT, so perhaps they got confused. To be honest, I was a bit peeved about the incessant morning tea/ lunch dates around our houses and the necessity to explore my house each time. I felt that my life was on open display and I just didn't want people changing their nappies in the boys bedroom rather than on their own change mat downstairs. Call me old fashioned.

I decided to cut myself off when I visited the Zoo with the kids and found them all having a meeting there. How embarrassing was that! I felt so incredibly awkward and although I knew they did that sort of thing all the time and I knew about it, I hadn't actually chanced upon them before. It wasn't somewhere that I thought they would particularly be. This chance meeting sealed the end of an era. I realised that although I cared for about 5 minutes, I didn't really care.

I wish I hadn't got sucked into the whole rubbish that you get told about the people you meet at baby classes being those who will be your friends for life. My friends are still those I had before I had babies, and luckily for me they have babies of their own now, so we just have an additional thing in common.

There are 2 people who I met through baby classes whom I would regard as friends, they both live around the corner from me (one is currently in the USA but we stay in touch) and I hope our kids will play together when they are older. Let this be a lesson, just because you have kids in common, if there is nothing else, there never will be!

Anyway, the local NCT has an email discussion list, which I sometimes contribute to. In the past it used to be all about breastfeeding support, what the best pram is and the like. It was great, and through it I actually met a few people, one of whom I would go to if I had any problems with anything even now. I'm still a member of this list, although I have tried to leave a few times (I'm just not very good at computing). Recently, I have become more and more shocked by it all.

You see, I live in an affluent commuter town. It's quite unusual for mums to work, as far as I can see. Everyone has a six hundred pound pram except for me and a few plebs. Everyone has a designer change bag. That's a different issue though isn't it?

Well, you wouldn't think so if you were reading the local NCT email discussion list. In the last few weeks we have had requests for thoughts on hotel Nanny's in the Caribbean and cleaners and so forth. This is not unusual. Now, is it just me or does anyone else think that perhaps this is sending out the wrong message? Picture yourself, struggling with cash, looking for a bit of support over the baby not feeding properly/sleeping properly etc and you read this sort of thing.

I thought the NCT was about supporting parents, but surely this sort of support can be dealt with elsewhere? I for one find this sort of level of passive aggressive competition and showing off oppressive and I don't like it one bit. I am sure that it could make someone feeling vulnerable a little bit more worthless, just when they need the support.

I wonder if this is indicative of NCT across the UK, has it become high-jacked by the middle classes? Does everyone else just use MumsNet or NetMums (whatever). We have a local nearly new sale, it is phenomenally well supported, I wonder if this is because local parents realise that there are bargains to be had as the well to do parents clear out their lofts etc.

I think its a real shame, as I know some really great people have come unstuck with NCT, people with a lot to offer. At one point, I was considering training to be an antenatal teacher and then I came to my senses. However I could write for the magazine, I could do stuff. I don't, because I didn't (and still don't) agree with a couple of the NCT campaigns a few years ago and decided not to renew my membership. This meant that if I wrote something locally, I would not even get a copy of the magazine! I couldn't just be a local member. Either you are in it all, or you are not in it. So much for supporting parents. I'm glad I am not in it locally now as I frequently hear tales of disenfranchised members. I know other local bloggers that have done things and become disheartened by it all.

It seems that just when you need a bit of support in your early days of parenting, it's becoming increasingly hard to get. I feel concerned about this, as I think that there are probably many people out there with no-where to go, charities like the NCT filled this gap but I don't think (at least locally) they do this anymore. With all the cuts this year which will undoubtedly have an impact on NHS services there be more and more people feeling isolated, doubting their value, suffering from the impact of competitive parenting and so on and so forth.

In part this is a plea to the NCT to get their act together, in part a plea to any new mums out there to retain their pre-baby circle of friends, not to feel that they have to try to belong in mum and baby groups and most of all to listen to your instincts about your baby.

Just When You Need a Bit of Support

Review; Lego Duplo

My children were lucky enough to be asked to be Lego Duplo Ambassadors. How fab is that? Considering that up to this point we have been playing with the Duplo that I spent my entire childhood playing with, we were all jumping for joy. However we did have some questions, is it really that classic that the new would be compatible with the old stuff? We love our old retro Duplo, it can't go. I'm pleased to report that it is all still totally compatible, what's more I found out that Duplo bricks are also compatible with certain Lego bricks and Megablocks.

I digress, Fifi was given the My First Train

Boy was given the Building Fun

I think I dished them out to the wrong kids as more or less straight away they swopped. The train being perfect for two year old Fifi who can only stack the bricks, and the building set better for the boy as it requires a bit of thought in its construction.

We had loads of fun playing with the building blocks, making different animals and some aliens. It's a basic but essential set which would be a perfect gift for a Duplo novice.

The train has proved very popular though, what is so great is that it actually fits with my vintage 1970s Duplo train which means we can make it really long. The elephant has been great for building all sorts of things (including an Indian restaurant) but also for playing 'trips to the circus' and 'trips to the zoo'. The little clown carries an umbrella, now this is where it really came into its own as the boy is learning Jolly Phonics at school. This week it was the letter 'U' and they have a 'sound table' which basically means they have to take something in which represents that letter. I was racking my brains, until I remembered the Duplo umbrella. So helpful- if your little ones are doing phonics buy this set immediately!

Since I first started drafting this review we have been so impressed with how our children have been playing with Duplo, not only consistently, but also with greater dexterity each time. In fact, we have now added to our box of Duplo and so now the living room carpet looks a little bit like this:

Review; Lego Duplo

Review; The Y Plan Body Confidence DVD

Regular readers will be aware that one of my goals for 2011 is to run a half marathon. So when I was offered a copy of The Y Plan Body Confidence DVD I thought it might be interesting to try it out. Unfortunately, I only got a press copy which didn't allow for any choices, I had to run through the whole DVD in one go each time. Therefore I cant really tell you much about how it might work on a long term basis.

I've heard good things about the Y Plan and I remember when it was first released. The great thing about it is that you don't need to go out and buy additional fitness equipment. This DVD has 6 ten minute work outs. I thought the dance one was the best, but the others were equally good. The warm up was really quite long in the scheme of it all though, so I would be tempted to just do part of it if I was in a rush.

I liked the music, I liked the routines and I felt that I had learnt something. However, I have to say, I took an instant dislike to the male trainer and one of the female ones. They just seemed a bit odd. If I was doing it, I simply wouldn't do those routines. As a veteran of Nell McAndrews DVDs this is a different sort of thing and it really fills a bit of a gap in my fitness DVD's at least. I did enjoy it and I felt I had a reasonable workout. I think its a bit more than a five minute wonder, unlike some of the celebrity fitness DVD's. So, all in all I think this is one that is worth getting, in fact, I have already ordered my copy from Amazon.

Review; The Y Plan Body Confidence DVD

Putting Things Off

Leaving things to the last minute sort of sums me up. I mean well, I plan years in advance and then the important things get left and left. That's how is was with the school trousers. I did think about it, I decided he wouldn't wear them but would wear joggers instead (it's allowed). The boy had other ideas. I was well meaning, I thought I would get some. Then it got to the day before and I still hadn't got them and they had sold out in two shops. Anyway, in the end I got them, but I felt a little stressed.

I meant to sew all the name tapes in etc, I really did. But then Fifi was hanging off my arm and being demanding. I meant to pack the school bag, but it was quite a lot of effort and I could do it later. I meant to fill in the paper work. I meant to talk to the boy endlessly about it and explain why he couldn't take his bunny. He wanted to watch Spiderman and his Amazing Friends.

The night before nursery school starts and I get the most terrible migraine. I wonder if its the weight of all the things I meant to do hanging over me.

Now it's the morning of his first day at nursery, I still have a migraine but not as bad (hence I can type). I am meaning to do all these things, I have half an hour, I'm good at putting off tasks.

Putting Things Off

Tesco magazine Mum of the Year Awards

I have to admit, I get rather annoyed when footballers and the like get honoured by the queen. I always think about how many ordinary people there are out there who do fantastic things which really make a difference to peoples lives in a quiet, discrete way. These are the people that should be honoured, celebrated and praised and so when I heard about the Tesco magazine Mum of the Year Awards I was interested to hear more.

The Tesco magazine Mum of the Year Awards celebrate inspirational mums and the contribution that they make to their communities. This year there is a new award; The Peoples Choice Award and three mums are in the running. These are ordinary mums who have done extraordinary things in their local community. What's really great about The Peoples Choice Award is that the public can offer their support. All you have to do is to go and have a look at the Facebook page and decide which one you think deserves your support. I have had trouble choosing as I think they all do a great job. Make sure you have a look. I'm actually off to meet the mums on Monday at their photoshoot and I'll let you know how I get on next week

Tesco magazine Mum of the Year Awards

The Invisible Third

Boy was what I consider a miracle baby, he took such a long time to conceive I never thought I would get a baby. Fifi was a gift, heaven sent, a much easier baby overall and a girl. When I thought about kids I only ever thought of two; a boy and a girl. That was before I actually had them and the hormones kicked in.

I love my children. My children drive me mad, I mean totally bonkers, around the bend and through the spiral and back again. I can honestly say that I am a woman on the edge from the moment Cbeebies or Milkshake comes on in the mornings, through the endless demands to build Lego or feed the dolly, right the way until the husband comes home from work. Sometimes I lock myself in the toilet and spend a bit longer than necessary, just for a bit of peace. Work seems a doddle.

Why is it then, that I have spent essentially the last 21 months craving a third baby? It makes no sense, I look at my two little ones holding hands and I think 'aw, how sweet' and then I imagine another little one. When I wake up in the mornings I think how lovely another baby would be, when I go to bed I think, well that's another day further away from another baby. I cant think straight, but I can think of baby names.

Invisible third baby syndrome is not a good thing for clutter, I have hoarded all the baby stuff. Just in case. I keep thinking I should get rid of it, be done with it. Then I think that perhaps I will hold onto it for just a little bit longer. The rational side of me wants to get rid of it, the emotional side keeps it.

Life is a leap into the unknown and that is what a third baby would be for us. We come from 2 children families, we don't know the dynamics. I was very unwell with terrible SPD when I had both children, I still haven't fully recovered. I spent most of my time tired, and I'm rushed off my feet. Having babies is dangerous, I don't want to leave the two I already have. We have a boy and a girl, we don't need another. Its hard to explain, but I don't feel fulfilled, I cant enjoy my children without thinking about the potential of another. I wonder about getting a cat. Maybe that's the answer.

The Invisible Third

Another Cheese Roll Please

It never ceases to amaze me how much food my kids can put away, if they want to, that is. Hollow legs provide space for endless cheese rolls, crisps, pizza, sweets and ice-creams but should a vegetable stray near any of these things and contaminate them then suddenly the void is filled. I can't understand this, as myself and the husband have a healthy approach to vegetables and fruit. In fact, the more the merrier!

At the moment the worst thing I can do to the Boy is to provide him with Pizza covered in vegetables. This is a sacrilege and can result in a furious tantrum of biblical proportions. Still I persevere. Fifi will eat a carrot, some peas and a bit of broccoli, not many other vegetables or fruit will pass the taste test. But that's better than boy. However, she won't eat fish or meat. 'Mothers ways' I've been told. This would be alright, but presumably one cannot live on a diet of baked beans, carrots, broccoli, crisps and the odd bit of cucumber? I guess time will tell. She also loves cooking, so I am getting her more involved in that and she seems to be naturally very good at it. Even though she only eats the savory dishes and not the endless cakes, pastries and biscuits which she demands to make. See image above!

Still, I am resolved to be a little bit more mercenary this year. I've already turned down requests for toys and other general stuff. I'm insisting that they eat what they get given and if they don't, well, they won't get anything else. I'm cutting down on the amount of junk snack food that is purchased too. If we run out of something I am not going to run round the corner to Waitrose, they will have to do without (that goes for the husband too). You see, I am resolved to save the money to buy a new bathroom to replace the original 1960's one we have in our house. I think nearly fifty years is enough wear.

So, I might get requests for 'another cheese roll please', but they will only be satisfied if we have it available and if that was what was originally dished up. If not, the selective deafness kicks in...

Another Cheese Roll Please