The trials of being a woman. Thanks to my friend and (personal) midwife Mrs B (@mrs_Bslife) I have been drilled in the importance of Pelvic Floor Exercises. Actually, I mean I have been frightened into the importance of the pelvic floors after three children. ‘You don’t want to end up having an operation to shove it all back in do you?’ springs to mind, (yes Mrs B I can hear you laughing now).
To this end, I have found myself at 2 o’clock in the morning feeding a small baby whilst pulling the appropriate muscles tightly. (Think stopping a wee…). I also find myself sitting at the traffic lights in the car pulling the appropriate muscles tightly. It’s at these moments that I also wonder about whether it might all go wrong, one wrongly placed muscular lurch and before you know it you’ve wet yourself at the traffic lights. How does one explain that?
For those of you who don’t know much about this sort of thing, you’ll need to do ten sets of ten pelvic floors a day after three kids, everyday, for the rest of your life. It’s a life sentence and one you cant forget unless you want to pay for it later on in life. If you want to know what the exercises actually are, then you’ll need to Google the phrase.
The whole pelvic floor thing is something which is never mentioned in sex education and I reckon it might be one of the best ways of putting off teenagers. Imagine if at 12 you were told that you might not be able to jump up and down without wetting yourself, if you were to have a baby. If that wouldn’t put you off, I don’t know what else would.
Anyway, I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to hear that like a good girl I have been trying to do my ‘special’ exercises, well, when I remember anyway. I’ll be trampolining like a Olympic athlete before you know it. Either that or I’ll be followed around by a faint smell of wee. If it’s the later I’d prefer it if you don’t mention it…