Yes, probably madness but now I’m a stay at home mummy I feel a little bit adrift. Its not like I have nothing at all to do, I’m rushed off my feet and rarely stop to relax (apart from about 10 minutes at 10:30 pm). I realise that technically I could still consider myself on maternity leave for a good few months yet, but I feel like I need a project. To this end I’m devising lots of things to keep me busy and have a few blogging ideas on the back burner. Most of my ideas genuinely rely on the purchase of a Mac though, which makes them quite difficult. why? Well, I need some very specific software. Anyway, in reality, I’d like a proper job but one that would fit in and around children. If anyone has one do let me know!
That brings me to my latest bit of insanity. If I am not to be a career woman, then perhaps I should focus on being an uber-mother and that means to me that perhaps, since I have nothing else to stop me, I should have another baby. I have made a mental list of pros and cons about this. The cons far outweigh the pros. For example; the cost, the sheer amount of space that 3 children will take up already as they grow, the effect on my heath both now and in the future. The Pros; well, another baby, another little person, nearly a football team.
I am trying to be sensible, I’ve given away loads of my maternity clothes and i’m slowing giving away Fifi’s clothes. I ‘m hoping that if I get rid of a lot of the baby stuff I wont feel like its there to be used. Its probably hormonal, I felt like I wanted another baby after the both of both Fifi and Boy. Its also very unlike me, I never wanted a big family, I don’t feel like a maternal sort of person. I think maybe I need to get a bit of adult life, I live in a child centred bubble, perhaps I’ve been brainwashed. Before you say it, I don’t want a dog, I don’t like them much and I don’t think the husband wants a cat. I cant be bothered to clean out a rabbit or a hamster and last time I had stick insects they escaped and I found them climbing the walls of my bedroom.