Back in the days before children I started to get quite into exercise. This was after realising I couldn’t run up the road without ending up out of breath, despite being fit. I knew I was fit because of the job I had, I simply couldn’t have done it if I wasn’t. Nonetheless I embarked on what now seems an unbelievable bout of exercise; running three miles nearly everyday, cycling 20 odd miles in a go on random occasions and doing a minimum of 100 sit ups and 100 press ups per day. This was often on top of a full days work which involved physical exercise. It will come as good news to some to know that even at the peak of my physical fitness I was never thin. I’m just not meant to be thin, I think the thinnest I could get my waist was 28 inches. I’ve long suspected though that it did affect my fertility because it took me nearly three years to conceive my eldest child.
Fertility aside it was nice to be fit and healthy and over the past 8 years this has somewhat waned. Its not altogether my fault I’ve been plagued with SPD, pregnancies and little people to look after. Over the past year though I’ve been doing the odd thing, cycling about where-ever and when-ever I’ve had the chance and walking pushing (often a double) buggy at every chance. I do far more than the 10,000 recommended steps a day.
However, despite being reasonably fit, the temptation of all those cakes out there has taken its toll. I think having suffered from crippling anxiety as well due to various circumstances hasn’t helped. I didn’t think I was fat, I honestly didn’t my clothes are all size 12 or 14 and fit fine. But then I measured my waist; 33 inches! Horrified. My trousers must have slowly stretched alongside my girth. That’s 5 inches more than when I was at my thinnest and 2 inches more than recommended levels for a healthy heart. When I calculated my BMI I came out as obese. Obese! Then I realised that I’d done it wrong and I’m actually already at the very far end of a healthy weight. Phew!
Whats a girl to do? There really is nothing for it. I’ve decided that I must do far more exercise and eat far less cake, at least until I can get down to a 30 inch waist (minimum). It is either that or just accept that I’m going to be fat (at least in my eyes). The thing is though, there are so many things in my life I cant change and I cant make a positive difference about that it is actually quite good to have something to cling onto, that I can achieve.
I’ve been trying hard to so something every day of the week, this is mainly running or cycling and after a week there are no differences to my physical state. None. What I have noticed though is a general increase in my levels of productivity. You may have noticed that I’m working my way through my book backlog. We are clearing out and tidying the house and there is the start of a real improvement and I’ve nearly finished knitting that cardigan I started four years ago. The Literary Festival I’m trying to get off the ground (despite a few recent wobbles on my part) is coming along and this week I even managed to do some cleaning.
As hard as it seems when you are laying in bed, once you are out running along at 6am (the only time I can do this exercise due to childcare issues) you do feel rather virtuous, even if you notice you are running slower than you could walk! I hope that in time I will improve and I will get thinner and I will need an new wardrobe, even if I cant actually afford one!