Understanding what your children are talking about…

Eight year old fashion and a rare excursion into 'the outdoors'

Eight year old fashion and a rare excursion into ‘the outdoors’

The eldest is now 8. This has affected me in a few different ways, not least I feel quite old in that I have and EIGHT year old. However, perhaps the biggest thing has been that I have come to realise that I no longer have much of an idea what he and his friends are actually talking about. I also have no idea about the specifics of eight year old boy fashion. Apparently nice woolly jumpers are out, luminous zip up sweatshirts in. You also need some high top trainers like in 1984, apparently.

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been that brilliant at popular culture. There are aspects of it that appeal to me, very specific films, books, some music ( I do try to listen to Radio 1 in the car so I can keep up to date). I’m not a total modern luddite, although I do tend to live in the past, both mine and in the archaeological time periods i’m interested in. BUT, all the same, i’m not some old fuddy duddy.

Confession: I can’t understand much of Year 3 conversation, I can’t even understand much of what is being told directly to me. There appears to be some new language which is accessible to siblings and friends, but not parents. What is it with this fist bump and balalalalalala-la thing?? Stampy and his videos might at well be in a different language and when we recently visited Madame Tussauds I had no idea who over half the people were. To my shame this included Nick Fury from the Avengers Movies, which I have actually seen.

This poses a problem on all fronts, I’m finding it a little bit challenging communicating during play dates. Firstly it’s difficult to ascertain the inflection and tone in the grunts as to whether it’s a yes or no. Take for example:

Would you like a snack?



It’s also quite hard to ascertain the answers to specific questions:

Would you like beans or peas with that?


Then there are the conversations:

Mummy, i’m building a Minecraft mouse on fire picachou, how cool and awesome, looking at me mr, lala lalala, man… *child waves iPad*

Lovely dear…

I need to learn, fast:

  • Minecraft
  • Scratch
  • Drum and Bass (any related)
  • Street Patois (I think, this might be what its called as I have no idea if i’m being called names)
  • Pokemon (everything)
  • Contemporary footballers and teams that i’m allowed to consider are good

Or maybe more to the point, I need to learn how to discretely melt into the background and not be an embarrassing mother until the children enter their second decade.

Has this happened to you? Any tips welcomed.


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