The Longest Ten Minutes of My Life

Toddler boy has this really smelly bunny, he cuddles it, sucks its ear and has adventures with it. He loves it more than mummy, daddy and baby Fifi. He loves it more than chocolate, crisps and coca-cola. He loves it more than anything else in the whole wide world.

Hubby has a fear of spiders.

The day was a typical North Norfolk one; bright, big blue sky and gentle wind (OK, well make that hurricane force gales). What better weather to take a trip on the Wells- Walsingham light railway. The longest 10 and a quarter inch narrow gauge steam railway in the world. How exciting! Toot- toot, chuffa, chuffa, chuffa and other railway like noises.

The journey began well, with an air of excitement and the chance to grab the best seats. Ones that are covered, but open at the sides, adding that element of Health and Safety danger only allowed at the sea-side. Twenty minutes into the journey, Toddler boy was bursting with excitement, Fifi had been lulled to sleep and I was thinking, to be honest, that it was a bit boring as it seemed to be taking quite a long time. I have no patience and require immediate gratification. Hubby can vouch for this. Hubby was proudly showing me how he was sitting with stinky bunny on his lap, its ear sort of flapping in the wind. I thought to myself that he was taking a risk, but its not for me to spoil the holiday fun.

THEN, a so called MASSIVE black spider fell off the roof and onto hubby's lap. All of a sudden he jumped up in fright (only a bit ) as I'm not aware of him hitting his NUMB SKULL. And with that stinky bunny flew right out of the train. In slow motion. The train carried on its way, toot toot, cuffa chuffa chuffa. Our very souls stayed where they were.

Hubby looking distraught conveyed this message to me using his best telepathy "Sh**, Christ, OMG, Ive lost bunny, I'm so sorry, don't divorce me"

I replied "People must do this all the time".

I thought " Bl**dy idiot, MEN, cant be trusted, OMG, must distract the boy, OMG that's it, the end of the world"

Toddler boy; "BUN, BUUUUUN!!" (his name for it)

Me; "Bun-bun is in the car"

Toddler Boy; "Noooooooaaaaaaooooooo"

Hubby; "sob, sob"

Me; "Hes gone for a ride with the driver, hes driving the train"

The journey is then one of quiet awkward silence except for the occasional sob and wail of "bun- bun"

The longest ten minutes of my life, my heart was pounding, I began to have the fight/ flee response inclinations. We needed a miracle.

Can I just say, controversially no doubt, that in my opinion this sort of thing is really something that happens when men are involved, any woman would have made sure that the most precious possession on board the train would be secure. In all circumstances. This opinion is backed up by the train drivers comment when I asked about recovering bunny he said "it happens all the time, wallets, cameras, phones...". He didn't say purse did he.

On to the second longest ten minutes of my life, the return journey. Hubby was a bit distressed, sitting, a man on the edge, mentally and on his seat as he was acting as back-up bunny collector in case the driver failed to get it. Luckily I had managed to distract Toddler boy effectively and he really did think that bunny was driving the train. I sat there, sending out he had better be recovered vibes. A thought ran through my head "what if he has been run over by the train?" I pictured his stuffing blowing away gently, wistfully, in the breeze. It could have been like Watership Down. It was heading that way. I conveyed this discretely to hubby. He said I was ten million times wrong, it would defy the laws of physics. A flicker of further worry crossed his angst ridden face.

The train slowed, other passengers jostled in a sort of hushed emergency manner. Toot toot, an arm reached out and recovered bunny. Sigh! A massive massive relief. The third longest section of a train journey and we were back. Bunny had been driving the train! The journey was life-changing, it revealed, several things:

• Men can be stupid
• The importance of bunny
• Time slows in times of strife
• Children can be distracted
• Never, ever, go on the worlds longest narrow gauge railway without attaching precious things to you with a lanyard.
• Never let hubby hold the baby in circumstances where spiders might appear, who knows what could have happened!
• Try not to let your child get attached to anything!

Poor hubby, I forgive you, I realise its not your fault you are a man!

Seaside Beach!

I've been away holidaying in North Norfolk. As I couldn't steal anyone's Wi-Fi, despite it being Chelsea -on -sea, or perhaps because it is, some of you will have noticed a distinct lack of posting. To bring you up to date, here's some of what happened:

Holkham Beach on the hottest day of the year

Cley Beach is good for throwing stones!

Brancaster Beach is great for kids

Cley Bird Reserve (someone didn't realise that you had to pay)

We also went on a boat trip to seal the seals at Blakeney Point, visited the sea-life centre in Hunstanton which needs refurbishing, travelled on the Wells- Walsingham light railway and lost Toddler Boy's comforter bunny (more on this episode later). Several feasts of lollipops, fish and chips and pizza kept us going through the obvious strenuous activity and we used up an entire bottle of suntan cream. All in all lots of fun, now I'm off to do the washing.

Ten Ways to Re-use Your Old Clothes

I have to admit I'm one of these annoying waste not, want not types. People who know me will agree, we have a fairly large house. You can't actually get into many of the rooms though, for the stuff I have acquired and refuse to chuck out. Should you fancy doing a museum exhibition on toys from the late 1970's to 1980's, well, I can provide you with near enough my entire original toy box. Chock full of yellow lead paint Rubix cubes and other noxious things which I don't want my kids to play with, its only use in the last few years has been for a museum exhibition and for something to get out and look at, discuss and put back again.

Should you require a baby walker, well I have at least 5 thanks to a Mother and Baby magazine product trial I did for them. I can't get rid of even one, as I don't know which one baby Fifi will prefer. Its the same with pushchairs (Ive discussed this before), highchairs, books, clothes, cookery items and so on.

There are reasons for this; For example, the Frost French season one cardigan that I took to the charity shop in an act of blatant clearing out, now worth a fair few squid due to their designer fame. For, me even more distressing is the loss of the series of concert tickets detailing the bands I saw in the early 1990s, this included Oasis, Pulp, Blur and Nirvana before they made it big (sob). However, I have Freecycled a lot of stuff, curtains, curtain poles, grill pans, rabbit hutches, carpet, bags, jars and so on. This would be good if I hadn't actually looked at Freecycle and acquired a lot more stuff to replace it all. I'm banned from looking at it at the moment.

Anyway, back to my recycling week pledge, to recycle textiles. Now, if I don't buy anything, there won't be a net overall gain in stuff in the house, so this will be good. I have to admit, Ive not actually been actively doing the pledge long enough to show the results. Although I will try to over the next few weeks. However, I thought I would share with you some of my tips for recycling textiles when sewing (please remember though, if the item is really good, its worth Free-cycling, Ebay-ing or sending it to the charity shop);

1. Use your scraps to make applique letters for kids T-Shirts or an apron like Anjie did here.

2. Make a quilt or a rag rug from the scraps.

3. Use old bed linen as lining in dresses- the dress I made for my sister's wedding for baby Fifi was lined with one of our old duvets!

4. When you get fed up of your old duvets, simply cut them down and make them into ones for the cot/ junior beds. I've done this really successfully for Toddler boy and it really requires no skill whatsoever. You could also make some sheets for the cots this way very easily.

5. I have re-used hubby's PJ tops and old work shirts by using the fabric to make myself and Toddler boy tops and T-shirts depending on the fabric. I'm also intending to make baby Fifi some simple shift dresses.

6. You could use fabric to make little party bags, this way, the kids can even keep the bag. You can even make toy storage bags this way.


7. You could use some of the fabric to make little soft toys.

8. Shorten old fashioned long skirts or dresses, this is easy to do and can give something a new lease of life. You don't even need a sewing machine, just a needle and thread would suffice.

9. Add ruffles and flowers made from your old scraps of material to plain T-shirts and dresses to create a bit of detail.

1o. Use old fabric to make t-towels or dish-cloths


For those of you who are using the old, 'I can't sew' excuse. Here are a couple of helpful web-sites:
Burda Style
About Sewing

Don't forget buttons on your old clothes, you could use these on all the new clothes you make, or you could give them to the kids (provided they don't eat them) to stick to home-made birthday cards etc etc. Zips can be re-used again on bags, new clothes or even as applique style designs on things!

Happy sewing, don't ask me if you get stuck though, im a relative beginner myself!

Recycle Week

I've been so busy recently, I feel like i'm swimming round and round in circles, like these ducks. I am so far behind on the laundry, dusting, hoovering, tidying, general cleaning, gardening and cooking, that I can't even begin to tell you how messy this house is. The mother - in - law has silently condemned the place, offering to come and tidy and clean whilst I'm holiday. This lack of ability to do anything has spilled over into the blog, where I have been tagged by a number of different people and haven't had a chance to do anything about it. However, I thought I had better do my good deed for the week and respond to Amy's tag as recycling is an important issue, one that Ive discussed here quite a lot and one that Ive not been very good at since baby Fifi was born.

Amy has flagged up Recycle week to me, basically a chance to make a pledge to do a bit better with an aspect of your recycling I have decided that for recycle week (and the foreseeable future as I'm a bit late on this one). I am going to recycle textiles. This is actually a bit of a cop- out for me and I have a burgeoning love of sewing. I'm actually getting quite good at re-crafting clothes and Ive a wardrobe full of freshly made 'designer' stuff.

I do tend to waste the scraps though, so I think I am going to use them to make a quilt, something that I have never done before. I have been inspired by One Girl who I found via Metropolitan Mum's blog which is just fab. If I don't manage to do this, I'm up for mowing the lawn. Thereby achieving weight loss exercise and peace as my forfeit. Its a win-win situation!

Now, I have to tag five other bloggers, I'm hoping they might have a go, even though its a bit late in the week:

Little Garden Helpers- I'm sure we would all like to hear some of your tips on what you can do in with stuff the garden!

Anjie- I bet her re-cycling even looks nice!

Metropolitan Mum- I don't think she has been tagged and it would be good to hear some tips from a German/ Swiss/ British perspective!

Mrs C- A local blogger to me

Vic at Glowstars- Because I don't think Ive tagged her before and I love reading her blog!

I'm incredibly lazy so, Ive pinched the rules straight off Amy:

1. Visit http://www.recyclenow.com/ and sign up to one of the pledges to waste less.

2. Share the details of your pledge on your own blog.

3. Chose five other bloggers, who will also be up for a bit of recycling fun.

4. Come back to this post at The Rubbish Diet and share your pledge with others, by placing a link to your pledge in the comments field.

5. Optional - as a thank you to all involved The Rubbish Diet will be publishing a British Mummy Bloggers' Recycle Week carnival on Monday 29th June. To be included, simply submit your favourite post revealing the progress of your pledge by Saturday 27th June - email to karen[at]therubbishdiet[dot]co[dot]uk.

I've got a hard head

One of my work colleagues was sent to Iraq with the TA. He sustained an injury when a spanner hit him on the head. He was driving along and some joker had placed it in the sun visor screen thingy of the truck. I don't think there was any permanent damage, apart from to his pride. I can feel his pain as I have sustained a remarkable number of head injuries in the last two years as a result of having kids. And that's on top of baby brain itself. It's a wonder I can actually communicate at all. Still, my mum always said how everyone remarked how hard and heavy my head was. Its natural selection, for a reason!
Take, for example, the other night. Whilst playing a rather heated game of Shut Door , I was head butted by toddler boy, sustaining a nose crack so hard that not only did by jaw feel like it was imploding, but I also have a rather fetching lump on which to balance my glasses.
That's not all, I have also been directly hit on the head by a whole carton of Formula milk. See it is bad, bad, bad stuff. It doesn't fit in any of our cupboards, they are crammed full of contraband not to be seen on display things like chocolate and crisps. Therefore it lives on top of the refrigerator. Not good. A plastic Little People garage can also sustain quite a blow when knocked off the top of a wardrobe. Whilst, the box of Start-right tots shoes that hit me the other night causing me to crook my neck could be considered a minor blow.
I think I'm doing quite well though, hubby was playing football a few months ago with Toddler boy and hit his head, on the whirly bird washing line. He knocked himself out, to be awoken only by Toddler boy hitting him on the head.
Perhaps we need to invest in some crash helmets for our daily parenting duties. I wonder if Toddler boys hard hat will suffice...

The Waiting Game

As far as I can see, having children is all about waiting. So those of you not used to queuing and waiting for hours and hours for stuff better get in practice. That's it, off to the Post Office on pension day, its the only way to get a bit of practice. You see, so far, my journey of parenthood has involved:

• Waiting for 9 months for birth
• Waiting for three days in labour
• Waiting for the baby to move
• Waiting for sleep through the night
• Waiting for the first smile
• Waiting for the first word
• Waiting at the doctors surgery, once for two and a half hours with a screaming poorly child- I think I blogged about this
• Waiting to find the time to read a book, watch television in peace, do some sewing. I still spend a lot of time on this one
• Waiting for the summer months so the kids can play in the garden
• Waiting for lunch/ tea/ coffee at numerous cafes with other mums
• Waiting for a bit of peace and quiet. I'm told this could be a long wait
• Waiting until they reach 18.
• And, now with one week until my annual summer holiday (a week in North Norfolk), waiting until they get chicken pox.

My advice to anyone considering a child, go on some sort of course to develop and enhance your skills of patience and resignation, and start living the slow life.

Bang, Bang, Bang! St Albans Pilgrimage

Each year in St Albans we have a big pilgrimage where we celebrate the life of St Alban, the first British Martyr. This year was no exception with enormous Roman soldiers, lions and monks and so forth all processing from Verulamium Museum up to the Abbey and Cathedral. I don't have any pictures of this, as I was actually doing my good deed for the day helping out with Young Archaeologist Club. However, I'm informed that Toddler boy marvelled at the beheading and particularly liked the bit where the executioners eyes fell out. More! More!

Later on in the afternoon, I was released from the shackles of looking after other peoples kids for free on a Saturday morning. Yes, I am mad. This meant I was able to enjoy some of the tail end of the events. This included a fantastic drumming session outside the Abbey lead by Ruth of Mish Mash Music.
Toddler boy attends Mish Mash so we thought he would enjoy it once he settled into the session. That he did. Although, I have to admit I didn't realise quite how loud it would be. I hope baby Fifi isn't deaf now. I did do the responsible thing and move the pushchair away a bit, although she did seem to be rocking out, so I didn't want her to miss the fun.

Once Toddler boy had banged away to his hearts content, even leading a bit of the session, he did 40 minutes on the bouncy castle. Oh, to be young! This was after walking for at least 2 miles over the course of the day. All in all, a fun day.