I Wish to Rant About Work

Unfortunately I cannot, its not like I signed the official secrets act or anything, but I still might lose my job. Suffice to say, if I were offered redundancy in this current climate I would snap their hands off. Ive come home, cooked pasta, been subjected to Chris and Poy's bedtime business song and had a little tidy and I STILL feel aggravated.
Oh, and the joy to be able to sleep through the night, I'm looking forward to the year after next when that might happen at least once. Another thing, if you see me in sunny St Albans please do not ask if I'm having twins. I'M NOT! I'm just enormous, and yes it is also a little annoying and difficult to move.

I Succumbed!

To that coldy flu thing that's been going around. Man! Did I feel ill, and being pregnant for the second time, well, every time I coughed.... (those who have had babies will know!). Still, whilst lying on the floor underneath the duvet attempting to repel the toddler boy's best efforts to hit me on the head with his toy car gave me some time to think about birth options.
I am tempted with a home birth, it seems much more suited to me and last time I did not require anything stronger than gas and air (in fact, if it were available on demand whilst not in labour I'd be tempted with a purchase). The hospital is hot and the midwifes are over-worked. However, in order to have a home birth here, I have to register with Watford General Hospital, I'm currently registered at Welwyn. This poses a problem for me in that I am really frightened of hospitals and Watford General looks externally, like something out of a Dickens novel. If I get rushed there in an ambulance I might just have an enormous anxiety attack. Also, what if baby is not a Watford FC supporter, they might feel immense shame at being born in Vicarage Road. Decisions....

Let Them Eat Cake!

Let me guess, your local supermarket has run out of Teddy Bear crisps. I admit it, its my fault. No, I haven't eaten them all, its the toddler. Yes, once again I have shown myself to be a terrible mother. What can I do? Standards have to slip a bit when you are as enormously pregnant as me and when toddler spends a large part of the day pointing at the crisp cupboard saying 'more, more, more....' I can only take so much.
Although, I have to admit, I did give him a piece of adult chocolate cake at playgroup rather than a carrot stick. Ive given up trying to talk to anyone anyhow, so I can even receive any looks and I'm not listening to comments. I think Ive been judged unworthy by the other glamorous mums (he, he, he). You, know what though? I'd prefer chocolate cake if I was him, so don't have it there if you don't want the likes of me and baby eating it. There's no food gestapo in our house. Baby eats what we do, thus we must eat healthily. Next week.

Pizza Races

Yesterday I splashed out using my two for one voucher from the newspaper and went along to a popular British pizza restaurant otherwise known as pizza fast. I became one of those parents people without children despise. Toddler boy insisted on climbing out of the highchair and running up and down the length of the restaurant the whole time. He managed to stuff a couple of bits of garlic bread with mozzarella on a the return journey but that was about it. I think its a new sort of exercise regime for both him and me, why not burn off the calories as you consume them?

Its Raining Dinosaurs

In our house, that is. You see I made yet another foolish purchase after the drum kit, a small packet of dinosaur stickers which evidently seems to contain at least 100 of the little slightly foamy unnatural coloured things. There's nothing that toddler likes more than to shower them down from his little sticky fingers onto any surface going. Or alternatively run at me at high speed and sort of hit me with them. Toddler and baby comedy is something else.
Some of you might be wondering what I have been doing in my absence from the blog, well other than sleeping cooking and unnatural urges to clean strange household things, work has kept me fairly busy. I have also managed to amass the worlds largest collection of carpet fluff and dirt, something I'm becoming proud of and has taken a great deal of effort. I have also taken to directing men about, although it was a bit mean to make hubby spend four and a half hours cleaning the fish tank. I quite like this new sense of power, I mean personal organisational help, over the men. At work it has provided me with lots of cups of tea with biscuits and at home lots of foot massages. Its obviously some sort of sub-conscious learnt male behaviour as it doesn't work on male toddler. Humpf, I am faced with the problem all mothers of boys have- someone let me into the secret please...

Toddler Tantrums, Work and a Cool Web-site

Life has been hectic recently, what with toddler tantrums and a general refusal to sit in the trolley at the supermarket (not me- toddler!) I am kept up all night with new baby (currently 7 months in my tummy) kicking me incessantly. I am surviving on a few hours sleep and the cream carpets now look a purposeful oatmeal colour. HELP! Working full time without childcare doesn’t do much for the image either. Picture: wild hair, jogging bottoms, grubby trainers and food stained tops and that’s my latest fashion look. I’m sure it won’t be long before I get discovered for a street style programme.
With this in mind, I decided to check-out the internet for advice. I mean, you can’t type emails whilst working can you, because everyone in the office then knows you aren’t working, so you need to do something which has the same keyboard rhythm as real work. Besides, in case my boss happens to read this, I'm just having an extended lunch break. Thus I have found http://www.ukfamily.co.uk/
Indeed, this has lead me to being paid a very small fee to review their site. So here goes with an honest and unbiased review. This is a really handy parenting website with lots of hints and tips. It is well laid out and easy to navigate, and importantly for me it looks good. There is even an article on how to dress well during pregnancy. OK, well, most of the ideas are alright if you have a creative gene and time to go shopping. In other words, you don’t have a toddler, but the inspiration is there!
I enjoyed reading the Toddler behaviour section. In fact, I would go as far to say that I’m putting some of it into practice. Well, vicariously, I keep reminding hubby that he is his child’s role model and its alright for me to let them both tidy up whilst I sit on the sofa eating chocolate.
UKfamily has lots of different areas to explore and the Lifestyle area is very good for a lunch break- unless you work with men as you will be driving them mad with ‘facts’. The articles are all quite short and to the point. I’m really jealous of the person who thought of the article title bumpaerobics. I wonder if I can get away with plagurising that for my blog! I don’t think I need to explain what that article was about.
If you fancy giving your man a makeover (without him even noticing). here are the ways to do it. Basically, be wily about it and nice. My efforts would be more blatant, an entire new wardrobe slowly replacing the old and the mobile hairdresser paying a visit.
All in all, if you have time to spare, go and have a look, its an encyclopedia of parenting information. Furthermore, fame and fortune might await as you do have the option to ‘share your story’. You never know, I might just share some of mine.

Shedding your Stuff

Thanks to the lovely Freecyclers of St Albans I have managed to get rid of the gas cooker, a chrome juicer and a griddle pan. Hooray, its saving me time and effort and they all seemed ever so grateful! Since Ive had quite a lot of bits and bobs from the network I think the balance of karma is restored.
The great shed re-building programme continues, Ive promised a major shed disco once its completed. We will get one of those projectors on the roof with a special being a mummy logo (similar to batman but in the style of a nappy) and people will be able to flock here. Well, those in the vicinity at least. Just don't make a mess or wake baby or I might have to use my super-powers.
Went for a lovely calm walk around Verulamium walk first thing this morning, the sun was shining the ducks were quacking. Then baby, well toddler now, decided that it was too quiet. Screams ensued and he threw himself flat on the floor several times. Mysteriously always avoiding duck poo. I got lots of those special looks but unfortunately no comments or I could have unburdened myself from the stream of swear words running through my head. Ah, Joy!