You know that feeling of being there, but not really being with it. Like you know that something is sort of impending, but you can’t really accept it. I seem to to have been living this existence ever since we had children. I have come to realise that we are in fact stuck in what I would say is a ‘middle class poverty trap’. You may laugh at this, but I really do find it impossible to make our out-goings and in-comings balance every month. Debt. I lie in bed at night worrying about what we are going to do. This means that instead of living a lovely little life, doing what I want to do and looking after the children how I would like, I will have to go back to work.
It’s not that we lead an extravagant life. The hubby has a fantastic job, we have a lot of money coming in every month. However we have a mortgage on our lovely large expensive commuter belt house that would make your toes curl. Its far more than two people on the minimum wage would earn in a month. This was fine pre-children. Post children its a nightmare. Working through our bills, we have less disposable income than people living on benefits, although we are not entitled to any. So, like many others in our situation, I find myself making clothes, buying food when its on special offer and buying nothing apart from essentials. If nothing else its a sharp reality check. I appreciate what I have more than I have ever done. Next time you look at someone who appears to have it all in terms of material possessions, just think; all might not be what it seems.